World’s Finest: An Exclusive Interview With The Blue Beetle
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to another exhilarating episode of World’s Finest, the series that introduces you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters, of, all, time. Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured Superheroes, Supervillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and of course… Super-Pets (Ace the Bathound has been sniffing around for an interview recently it seems) to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe and biscuits (’cause everyone loves biscuits)
And so let us welcome to Precinct1313’s sanguine sofa of sardonic satire, that banteringly bemused bastion of blustering bravery… Blue Beetle.
Precinct1313: Welcome to the Precinct Ted, it’s great to have you here.
Blue Beetle: Thanks so much, it actually took me a while to find it to be honest, I mean it exists “at the edge of existence” and my Sat-Nav doesn’t seem to have that particular setting.
Precinct1313: Yeah, sorry about that, I always find that if you bypass the Nth dimension and take the matter reality highway you tend to get here much quicker.
Blue Beetle: Are you for real?
Precinct1313: ‘Fraid so, anyhow as I said it’s fantastic that you could stop by, I have been a personal huge fan of yours since the 80’s, especially your co-starring role in Justice League International.
Blue Beetle: Why thank you, I… wait a minute, co-starring!?
Precinct1313: Uh, yes… I mean there were a lot of other heroes involved, including The Batman.
Blue Beetle: Hmmmph! well to refute that, I happen to have on me an old photo of the League from back then clearly showing me front and centre, here…
Precinct1313: You just ‘happened’ to have that old photo on you… hey wait did you have this laminated!?
Blue Beetle: Yeah, so?
Precinct1313: Riiiight! anyway onto our first question, and this one was actually sent in by your old Super-Foes, The Madmen, they ask, why are you such a douchebag?
Blue Beetle: I’m not, they are.
Precinct1313: Uuuum, did you want to expand on that at all?
Blue Beetle: Nope!
Precinct1313: OK, well this is going swimmingly then.
Precinct1313: Now, you’re actually the second person to take on the mantle of Blue Beetle after the unfortunate death of original BB Dan Garrett, and it was his dying wish that you took over, a huge responsibility I’m sure.
Blue Beetle: Yes, it is. Daniel was a great man, a true hero, and as braggish as I am, he’s left one hell of a reputation for me to follow in. I’m not sure I can ever do him real justice, but I do try.
Precinct1313: You do just fine Ted, now it was during your time in Justice League that you met your BFF, Booster Gold correct?
Blue Beetle: Yes indeedy, ol’ Booster and I are inseparable, you know like Batman and Robin (he’s Robin, by the way) or Butch and Sundance…
Precinct1313: Laurel and Hardy??
Blue Beetle: Hmmmpph! no.
Precinct1313: Well you guys do have reputation for buffoonery right?
Blue Beetle: I prefer to call it playful exuberance.
Precinct1313: You were originally created by one of the comic-book medium’s true aristocracy, the great Steve Ditko, I mean, just wow!
Blue Beetle: Ooooh, oooh, the fourth wall thing, Starfire told me all about this, it sounds like fun. Yes I did indeed originate from that great man, it is a distinct honour to have such a distinguished creator.
Precinct1313: I bet, well we seem to be running out of time, so I would once more like to thank you for joining us this evening, any last words?
Blue Beetle: Just remember kids, stay out of trouble, crime is bad… and I’m definitely way cooler than The Batman… OK?
Precinct1313: Sigh… yes, OK.
In our next episode we shall be joined by Etta Candy, best friend of the awesome Amazon Wonder Woman, World War II freedom fighter, and leader of the Beta Lambda Sorority – “Holiday Girls”. Until Then.