Welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313 to another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aim to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!
Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and, of course, Super-Pets to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the Universe, and cake (’cause everyone loves cake)
And so, let us welcome to Precinct1313’s sacred sanguine sofa of significantly satirical secrets: the Dame of Demise and Duchess of the Deceased – Death, of the Endless…
Precinct1313: Hi there Death, and thanks so much for joining us on this week’s Worlds Finest.
Death: Hi, thanks so much for having me, you can call me Didi, if you prefer.
Precinct1313: Didi? as in die die?
Death: Uh, that’s a little morbid don’t you think? no, as in Deedee.
Precinct1313: Got it, though I do find your morbidity comment rather amusing, I mean, you are the Grim Reaper after all…
Death: Ha ha, nope, that’s my predecessor, although we had to let him go… he was literally scaring people to death!
Precinct1313: Isn’t that kind of the point though, y’know, harvester of souls and all…
Death: Mmmmm, I tend to keep things a little lighter, I mean that whole skull and scythe thing is a little too on the nose, don’t you think?
Precinct1313: Umm, I guess… though technically you perform the same service, right?
Death: In a way, but I tend to gently lead people into the afterlife as opposed to, how did you put it… harvest their souls?
Precinct1313: So, I’m intrigued, how does this whole cycle of life thing work, I mean, how do you specifically know when someone’s about die?
Death: Mmmmm, it’s a little complicated, but I guess the best way to describe it is that I can see the tapestry of their lives unfolding before me as a cartographical certainty. Would you like me to reveal your fate? your ultimate denouement as an example of this?
Precinct1313: I’d really rather you didn’t, thanks…
Death: Ah okay, I understand, you’ll know soon enough anyway…
Precinct1313: Uhhh, what does that mean?
Death: Oh nothing, shall we move on, I do tend to lead a rather busy life y’know…
Precinct1313: Erm, okay… So, my first ever encounter with your character was through the Neil Gaiman masterpiece – Death: The High Cost Of Living, any thoughts on Mr Gaiman and his prodigious writing talent?
Death: Neil is fantastic, a true gent and an outstanding talent, it’s through him that I’ve been able to share my many wonderful adventures and memories.
Precinct1313: I see, and he has been relaying said adventures about yourself and extended family, The Endless, since 1989 I believe.
Death: That he has.
Precinct1313: Well Death, uh Didi, may I just say, once again, thanks so much for joining us on this weeks World’s Finest.
Death: It’s been a pleasure, it’s time for us to go anyway…
Death: Why yes, why else do you think I’m here?
Precinct1313: For the interview, of course…
Death: I’m afraid not… it’s time, just take my hand…
Precinct1313: But, but, I have an appointment at 3pm.
Death: Unfortunately, you’re not going to make it…
*Death, and all images are copyright: Vertigo/DC Comics*
“Oh hi there, it’s fantastic to see you, fellow Agents, welcome to Precinct1313’s celebrated Comic Crypts, so glad you could make it, I hope it wasn’t too much of a chore finding your way down here… I mean, the Precinct is an interminable enigma, so it can be rather difficult at times to negotiate it’s measureless depths, yet, here you are.”
And so, welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313 to our four year anniversary celebrations, that’s right, the malefic mansion of mystery first materialised unto this plane of existence in the space year of 2014, and thanks to all of our followers, readers and fellow bloggers we still find ourselves relaying the news and views of our beloved DC Comics, and beyond…
Very soon we shall wend our way through the Precinct’s incalculable corridors and chambers so we can celebrate in style in the infamous Halls of Quaffing. Before that though let’s pay a visit to The Scrying Chamber and stare deeply into the sanguine depths of its fabled black crystal ball so we can relive our favourite posts from the past 4 years. This will be the first of two posts with chapter III of “In Pursuit Of Precinct1313″ appearing later this week, and with it, maybe, just maybe, the answers to the mysterious portal from last year’s cliff hanger ending. Now, on with the show…
So, let us begin our journey with one of our most recent posts, which was also the auspicious debut of our first ever YouTube unboxing video… “V-Log1313: Amanda Conner – Starfire Statue Unboxing” which can be partaken in… Right Here
2017 was the year that we first debuted our “World’s Finest” interview series, where we deigned to interview some of comicdom’s most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, and Dimension Dwelling Demons. It has proved a rather large hit for the site, with the Harley Quinn episode scoring the largest amount of hits… that said the most difficult yet most fun to write was the ‘V’ episode – so why not settle down and vividly valuate V’s valorous vocal verve once more… RIGHT HERE
“Comic Cover Of The Week” has been another marvellous mainstay of the Precinct, though with so many commendable and cool covers released each and every week it can be hard to recommend just one, so we’ve included two of our most recent favourites – “Harley Quinn Anniversary Special” which you can peruse… RIGHT HERE and the monumentally mouthwatering – ” Mister Miracle #5″ which you can scrutinise… Right Here
Wonder Woman and Batman continue to be the core pillars that sustain the edifice that is the Precinct, between the two of them they hold the record for most posts published by this mysterious mansion, but which articles do we hold most dear? In Diana’s case it would have to be – “Classic Wonder Woman: 75 Years Of The Awesome Amazon” which is available to study… Right Here and as far as Gotham’s grim guardian is concerned then it’s definitely – “Batman v Superman: Grudge Match” which can be undertaken – Right Here
Phew! there is such a rather large amount of decidedly delicious DC documentation that we have dutifully delivered that we could honestly be here all day! So let’s finish this celebratory collection conjuration with some honourable mentions… “Great British Comic Book Characters – Zenith” which can be tackled – Right Here Yet another Harley Quinn classic… “Harley’s Little Black Book #6 which can be rediscovered – Right Here and last but most definitely not least, a post from waaaaay back in 2014 from the Precinct’s (very) occasional co-writer Rageypeep (aka – Pete) with this post from “Euro Gamer Expo 2014” which can be experienced – Right Here
And may we say once again a massive thank you to everyone that has supported Precinct1313 over the past four years, our appreciation for all our followers, readers and fellow bloggers is quite honestly, stratospheric.
Oh, and as ever… Make Mine DC!
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to another exciting episode of ‘The Week In Geek’ where we love to share our favourite – Comic Book, Video-Game and Cult Movie news for your perusal and pleasure. And so once more unto the geek dear agents, once more…
Alfred Finally Gets His Due…
Barry Allen: “So what exactly are your superpowers again?”
Bruce Wayne: “I’m rich!”
This is a rather accurate assessment of Bruce’s innate ability to fight crime on a scale approaching that of the more powerful variety of Superheroes, it’s Bruce’s fortune that enables his war on crime to continue ad infinitum, and also ably supplies him with the gadgets and instrumentation needed to take down foes who far outweigh him in the realms of strength and preternatural capabilities.
But which of these many devices is the biggest aid for Gotham’s dark and scary one? The famed Batmobile? his ninja-like Batarangs?, the seemingly bottomless utility belt… nah! it’s one man, someone who has always been there for the caped wonder, a guardian, father figure and caretaker of both Bruce’s body and mind – staunch (and often snarky) British butler and ex SAS operative, Alfred Pennyworth.
Many variants of the popular character have appeared throughout various media over the almost eight decades since Gotham’s grim guardian first appeared, from the original comic book source, through novels, television series and film. The character has been portrayed by some of the UK’s finest thespians including, of course, the recent depictions by Michael Caine, and current valet to the masked grimacing one – Jeremy Irons. We adore Alfred and have always wished for a lot more interaction on his behalf in the live action arena… and now that particular reverie is apparently coming true with EPIX announcing a 10 part series exploring Alfred’s intriguing past exploits. No news on potential actors for the role as of yet, though we do know it will not be utilising the television series Gotham’s Alfred, Sean Pertwee.
(Though, even if Alfred does indeed get even more popular than he is currently through this potentially awesome production, his excited fervour will always be tempered by the fact that he still has to wash Batman’s tights in the morning!!)
There’s No Gloom, Only Doom With This News…
Quirky, irreverent, much maligned, strange, aberrant outcast and generally disparaged… but enough about me, let’s talk about the Doom Patrol!
In 2019 DC Comics will be unleashing its brand new digital service – DC Universe, a first of its kind immersive digital experience designed exclusively for DC fans. Previously announced shows for this groundbreaking TV experience are live action versions of The Titans, the seminal Swamp Thing, plus new animated series that include Young Justice and Harley Quinn.
But the most recent announcement is probably the most fascinating, the unveiling of a live action series based upon classic quirky heroes – The Doom Patrol. Patrol is certainly one of the weirdest of all the Super-Teams existing in comics today, It debuted in 1963 through anthology comic – My Greatest Adventure, but it was during the 80’s and 90’s that the unconventional heroes really found their footing thanks to the sterling work of Scottish comic-book scribe – Grant Morrison.
‘The Doom Patrol series is a re-imagining of one of DC’s most beloved group of outcast Superheroes – Robotman, Elasti-Girl, and Crazy Jane, led by a modern day mad scientist Dr. Niles Calder. Doom Patrol members have each suffered terrible accidents that whilst it did bestow upon them their superhuman abilities, also left them scarred and disfigured. Traumatised and downtrodden, the team found it’s purpose through The Chief, who brought them together to investigate the weirdest of phenomena, and protect the planet from what they find.’
The Doom Patrol series will debut alongside the DC Universe digital service in 2019…
Why Not Join Us Again Next Time Friends For More Week In Geek.
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to our first ever V-Log, that’s right, the Precinct’s infamous sacred sanguine sofa shall bear witness to an unboxing of epic proportions (well… it’s definitely an unboxing, epic may just be a little too grandiose, but hey!)
But before you dive into the video itself, a couple of things should be noted…
1. My hands are in no way, shape, or form professional actors! In fact if they were to star in a movie it would more likely be some terrible B movie nonsense from a company like Full Moon or something! (Please note: we love B movies and especially love and own virtually all the movies released by Full Moon!)
2. Whilst preparing the camera for the unboxing, my colleague and I said: “Why don’t we go all bohemian and idiosyncratic, and do it all in one take!?” Mmmmmm, then again, it may just have been the fact that we had rather a large amount of untouched beer and a brand spanking new copy of Batman and Harley Quinn on Blu-Ray to indulge in after we finished the filming… Ok, Ok, it was the second reason!! (which is to say – the video was done in one take, so please forgive any inherent amateurism on my part. Though the camera work and audio by my colleague Pete is rather fabulous!)
Thanks for watching fellow agents, and if you’re not already, why not follow us on our official Facebook page for fun and profit – (Oh Ok, there’s no profit, but we do guarantee some fun!)
All of the stunning statues in this vid were purchased from my very favourite UK based comic book emporium – Final Frontier.
Starfire, Wonder Woman, and Killer Frost are copyright: DC Comics.
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aim to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!
Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and, of course, Super-Pets, to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe and cake (’cause everyone loves cake)
And so, let us welcome to Precinct1313’s sacredly sanguine sofa of shockingly significant sardonic secrets – the cool, captivating and calculatingly callous – Circe.
Precinct1313: Hi there Circe, and thanks so much for joining us on this weeks episode of World’s Finest.
Circe: Why have you summoned me thus mortal?
Precinct1313: Um, you, err, did get our e-mail right?
Circe: Your petty mortal conveyance of digital transference is rather beneath a deity of my magnitude, do you not think, worm…
Precinct1313: Sorry, did you say worm?
Circe: You are like a worm unto me…
Precinct1313: I, uh, OK then…
Circe: Ah, so the lowly worm speaks…
Precinct1313: Now look, I’m not appreciating this whole worm thing, I’ll have you know…
Circe: Are you threatening me!?, interesting, you show a backbone to some extent, which precludes your being an annelid, mmmmm, I shall then deign to answer your foolish mortal inquiries…
Precinct1313: Ermm, thanks… I think.
Circe: Thinking does not appear to be your strong point, hurry mortal, asketh me your questions.
Precinct1313: So, I believe you are known to be over 3000 years old, may I just say you look bloody fantastic considering… do you have any tips for staying youthful?
Circe: I am immortal, foolish human, I will not fade into dust as you shall one day.
Precinct1313: Thanks for that… now then, you are the daughter of the Titans, Hyperion and Perseis, was it through your parentage that you gained your almost unlimited magical prowess?
Circe: Somewhat, though most of my abilities were granted through my devotion to the Goddess Hecate, I have followed her teachings for many a millennia.
Precinct1313: You are also the former Princess of the legendary isle of Colchis, the famed land of Medea and the fabled Golden Fleece, but you have lived much of your life in Aeaea, was there a singular reason for your move from your original monarchical homeland?
Circe: I fell in love mortal, his name was Odysseus, and with him I bore three godlike siblings, three sons we ceremoniously named, Agrius, Latinus and Telegonus.
Precinct1313: Intriguing, now aside from your infamy as the most powerful of all the Greek Witch-Gods you are primarily known as one of the foremost antagonists to another famous Greek Princess… Diana of Themyscira also known as Wonder Woman…
Circe: You dare to utter that name in my presence mortal, that insufferable Amazon traitor means nothing to me, and neither do you…
Precinct1313: I, ummm, am eternally sorry oh great sorceress, do please forgive my faux pas…
Circe: And now you appear to be mocking me…
Precinct1313: Not at all, I was very much sincere in my apology… errr, you appear to be levitating and looking at me rather malevolently…
Circe: You shall suffer for your impudence mortal by becoming that of which I regard you… “Tout, tout, thrown about, your shallow life in dismay, rentum, osculum, tormentum you shall crawl on your belly like a worm from this day…”
Precinct1313: Is that some kind of spell… hey, wait a minute where are my arms and legs!? have you just turned me into a…
Circe: Yes mortal, a worm, now I shall leave you to your fate, farewell worm…
Precinct1313: Hey, you can’t just… Circe! come back… *mmmm, that looks like a nice soft patch of dirt I could burrow into* Wait, what… no, noooooo, come back Circe, come baaaaack!!
Welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313 to another episode of The Week In Geek where we love to share our favourite – Comic Book, Video-Game, and Cult Movie news for your perusal and pleasure. And so once more unto the geek dear Agents, once more…
And an extra special welcome to our Women’s History Month Extravaganza! Our bombastic blogging buddy Cupcakes and Machetes has arranged her first ever blog event to celebrate the importance of women around the globe, so for the rest of March the Precinct will become a haven for fantastic fictional females, as we salute our very fave female Superheroes (and, of course, SuperVillains!)
Women’s History month commemorates the considerable contributions that women have made throughout human history, and I highly recommend visting Cupcakes and Machetes’ post for more information on the other astonishing bloggers involved in this particularly important event.
Cheetah Will Absolutely Be The New Antagonist In Wonder Woman 2…
There is much rejoicing within the Precinct today as we celebrate the news that our all time favourite SuperVillain, the feisty felonious furry feline Cheetah looks set to be next in line to antagonise the Wondrous one on the Silver screen!
Now then, we absolutely loved Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins’ astonishing take on the Themysciran Titan in last years astounding Wonder Woman movie, but if we were complain about something, it would be that her greatest and most popular nemesis – Cheetah was nary given a mention, I was, in fact, holding my breath for a post credit sequence involving the feline felon, unfortunately to no effect (well, apart from serious oxygen deprivation of course!)
Barbara Ann Minerva aka The Cheetah is a British archaeologist with the reputation for going to any length to secure ancient artefacts. Her life was irrevocably changed after an expedition to the atavistic lost city of Urzkartaga, where she endured a ritual by the local tribes to turn her into an immortal Cheetah deity. But, with great power comes… the ferocious appetite for human flesh (as we discovered when we interviewed her in the Precinct last November!) and a burning hatred for her former friend, Wonder Woman.
And, in breaking news, released as we were writing this post, it looks like actress Kristen Wiig (The Martian, Bridesmaids) is currently in talks with Patty Jenkins to play Cheetah in the movie!
We are so ridiculously excited to see Barb on the big screen in the highly anticipated Wonder Woman 2… seriously, 2019 cannot come soon enough!!
Lara Croft’s Newest Cinematic Escapades Are Almost Upon Us… So Let’s Celebrate With Some Brand New Images And A Trailer…
And yet another famous female British Archaeologist, Lara Croft will be returning to the silver screen (this very month in fact!) after almost fifteen years since her last cinematic Tomb Raiding endeavour (brought to us courtesy of the awesome Angelina Jolie.)
Unlike her comic book counterpart and fellow ancient artefact acquisitor, Cheetah, Lara is definitely more hero than villain (though the raiding of tombs is, perhaps, a little questionable) Lara’s return to the big screen is long overdue. The role of quintessentially English video-game icon has been inherited by Swedish actress Alicia Vikander, and she is looking every inch the relic hunting, globetrotting bad-arse superheroine!
We have been massive fans of Lara ever since we got our hands on her original video-game outing way back in 1996 on our much beloved Sega Saturn. The original classic was brought to the Lara loving masses by British software house – Eidos, and developed by the much missed Core Design. The game revolved around the exploits of super archaeologist and adventurer Ms Croft, and tasked the player with guiding the titular heroine through a plethora of tombs and ancient ruins in search of long lost artefacts and mythical relics, whilst avoiding death traps, wild animals, leaping perilously from crumbling ledges, and exploring mysterious, antediluvian temples secreted in the most extreme corners of the planet.
The new film is based upon the recent 2013 Video-Game reboot, and is looking really rather wonderful indeed… welcome back Lara. Indulge your eyes with the recent screenshots below, and be prepared to follow Lara on her treacherous journey into the unknown on March 16.
Why Not Join Us Again Next Time, For More Week In Geek…
Ah, welcome fellow agents, you’re probably wondering why I’ve called you down here through the interminable depths of the malefic mansion of mystery known as Precinct1313, why you have had to negotiate it’s herculean hallways and cavernous crypts, wending your way past such iconic areas as the astonishing Amphitheatre of Awards, and the Movie Mausoleum, whilst taking in the majestic sights of the Comic Crypts and the Ancient Amazon Archives.
It is often said that Precinct1313 is a dilemma within a mystery contained in an enigma, it’s been three and a half years since this entity first welcomed us into it’s dark ceaseless corridors and herculean hallways and today we are making our way through it’s unending profundity to a room we haven’t visited for close to a year – The Scrying Chamber, within this portentous room sits a single stone table upon which resides an ominous black crystal ball, which not only has the power to decipher the future, but also recreate the past in vivid memories. So please, make yourselves comfortable, as we gaze deep into it’s sanguine depths and relive the Precinct’s favourite moments from 2017.
Wonder Woman’s Cinematic Debut Is A Triumph In All Kinds Of Ways…
Forget Disney and it’s vision on what a Princess is, Diana successfully schools them in every way possible on how to portray a strong forceful female warrior with the strength and fortitude to turn the tide of a great war, yet also the compassion and love to convert the hearts of the most staunch human soul… Wonder Woman has been empowering her fans for over 75 years in comic-book, animation and television, and this summer received her long overdue silver screen outing, and it was… outstanding!
Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins brought William Marston’s much loved Superheroine to life magnificently, finally giving the much loved Amazon the attention and adoration she deserves, delighting fans both new and old with a tale that encompasses a gamut of emotions and emancipation. This film is important on so many levels – firstly proving to the world that female led comic-book movies can easily match their male counterparts, approaching the now staid Superhero movie franchises with a new high in how to tell a canonical origin story with a real emotive centre and a poignant yet impassioned and powerful tale that encompasses everything we love about the Themysciran Titan. This film turned out even more magnificent than we could have ever imagined, and for us, is the stand out best movie of 2017… in fact ever!
Comic Book Writer Tom King Blew Us All Away!!
Phew, what a year for comic books 2017 has been, notable mentions need to go to Greg Rucka, Liam Sharp and Nicola Scott for their sterling work on the astounding Wonder Woman Rebirth series, Gerard Way’s (yes the front man for My Chemical Romance, now a wildly successful comic book author for DC Comics!) Young Animal imprint, and, more recently, Geoff Johns’ sequel to Alan Moore’s opus Watchmen with Doomsday Clock. Yet one man has decided to top all of these, with his literary genius abounding in the two greatest comic-book offerings of 2017 – Batman Rebirth and Mister Miracle – the elaborate and intricate tales woven by master creator Tom King have sat at the head of this particular DC fans table, and I for one cannot wait to see what other spectacles of fantastic fiction he has in store for us in 2018.
The Precinct’s Head Agent Was Almost… Beaten To A Pulp By A Giant Mallet, Schooled On Venerable Verbosity By A Vaudevillian Vigilante, And Eaten By A Ferocious Feline!!!
2017 was the year that the Precinct threw open its doors to the villainous, the vigilant, and the Superheroic (and their Super-Pets) when we deigned to interview some of Comicdom’s most treasured Superheroes, Supervillains, Costumed Crimefighters and Dimension Dwelling Demons, when we premiered our “World’s Finest – An Interview With A Superhero” series.
And it’s proven to be huge hit, with more views than any article or post we have ever put out, though our hapless interviewer has really been put through his paces with his erstwhile attempt to extract those interesting facts and truths from the variety of costume clad individuals invited onto the show each week… he has been – in an alliteration battle with a master, dodged getting smushed by the giant mallet of hellacious Harley Quinn, and almost the main course for feline Supervillain Cheetah, yet he comes back each and every time, ready to once again verbally duel whatever guest is invited onto the Precinct (so he’s obviously an idiot!)
So which of these exceptionally excessive episodes were the most popular? unsurprisingly the Harley Quinn instalment has easily garnered the most views of them all to date. The most fun to write was without a doubt the V episode, and my personal favourite? absolutely the Cheetah one, I unreservedly adore the character, so it was fun channeling her ferocious feline awesomeness!
The Justice League United…
2017 was a particularly great year if you’re a DC Comics fanatic, not only did we get the long awaited cinematic debut of the Worlds first, and greatest female Superhero, we were also lucky enough to bask in the glory of the premier team of iconic costume clad crimefighters – The Justice League!
Now then, as expected, the critics apparently hated it… but (like Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad before it) the movie going audiences loved it! The ongoing debate about whether ‘professional critics’ are ruining the cinema experience by damning movies so much that they are ostensibly stopping viewers from going to see films doesn’t necessarily seem to be true, to date the critic score on Rotten Tomatoes is 40%, yet the audience verdict stands at a much more impressive 78%.
You know what? ignore critics, Justice League was a fantastic and fun romp from start to finish, the Amazon battle segment at the start was phenomenal, and the sequence where a disorientated Superman took on the entire League was just a blast, especially the super-speed fight between the Man of Steel and The Flash. If you’re still on the fence about seeing the film due to low scores I have two things to tell you – 1. Don’t be, it’s a great movie full of sterling action scenes and plenty of laughs (plus it gives you even more Wonder Woman!) 2. Get off that fence, it wasn’t designed to be sat on! (I mean, wouldn’t a chair be more comfortable!)
Happy New Year to all our Special Agents, readers and everyone else who visits the Precinct, 2018 brings more DC Comics cinematic greatness in the form of the ocean dwelling King of Atlantis – Aquaman, plus the production begins on three new DC movies, Wonder Woman 2, Shazam, and Flashpoint, so lots of things to get overtly excited about and geek over. Until then, as always… Make Mine DC!
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to yet another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aims to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!
Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and of course Super-Pets, to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe, and cake (’cause everyone loves cake)
And so, let us welcome to Precinct1313’s sardonic sofa of satirically sanguine secrets, the calculatedly capricious cat of callously combative charisma – Cheetah.
Precinct1313: Hi there Cheetah, and thank you so much for joining us on this weeks World’s Finest… erm, you, uh, appear to be sniffing me, it’s rather disconcerting, I must say
Cheetah: Yesssss, I always love to sniff out my prey…
Precinct1313: I see, well… hang on, did you just say prey!?
Cheetah: You do know who I am right?
Precinct1313: Why of course, you’re Barbara Minerva – The Cheetah, I’m a huge fan… in fact you’re probably my favourite SuperVillain of all time!
Cheetah: SuperVillain!? oh how sweet, you’re kind of cute… you know, for potential food!
Precinct1313: I’m sorry… you want to eat me?
Cheetah: Once again, and I’ll say it slower this time, You… Do… Know… Who… I… Am… Right!?
Precinct1313: I, erm, uh, am feeling rather perturbed right now, but… being the consummate professional I am, will continue (whilst maybe whimpering a tad, do forgive me)
Precinct1313: You are primarily known as Wonder Woman’s arch-nemesis, but I believe before you became The Cheetah you were fast friends with the Themysciran Princess, so what exactly happened to change that?
Cheetah: I turned into a ferocious feline with a taste for man flesh, I find things like that can sour a friendship, especially one with a goody two shoes like Diana.
Precinct1313: I guess that makes sense, you also have the distinction of being the second most popular feline based character in comics, after sultry Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman, any thoughts?
Cheetah: Hsssssss… Catwoman!? well firstly I’m THE most popular feline based villain, that so called cat lady is just a girl playing dress up, and I’ve also kicked her ass on several occasions… as I’m going to yours, if you mention her again!
Precinct1313: Moving swiftly on…
Precinct1313: Now, you were created by two of comicdom’s most legendary creators, George Perez and Len Wein, a great honour I’m sure…
Cheetah: Why are you asking me these questions? and I have never heard of either of those people, I was created by the ancient God Urzkartaga.
Precinct1313: Well you see Cheetah, Precinct1313 exists between dimensions which is what allows us the unique ability to interview fictional beings such as yourself for this show.
Cheetah: Fictional? sorry did you say show? I thought I was invited over here for dinner.
Precinct1313: Uuuuh, there’s no food I’m afraid.
Cheetah: Oh, I beg to differ…
Precinct: I, uh, really don’t like that glint in your eye… and on that note, thank you so much for joining us on this weeks World’s Finest, any final words?
Cheetah: Could you pass the salt!
Cheetah, and all images are copyright: DC Comics.
Did you know that that the malefic mansion of mystery known as Precinct1313 originally was created to showcase my visual novel – “The Chronicles Of Cassandra Vala” a web-comic meets novel, with the added twist of classic 80’s style ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ books of my youth.
Well that didn’t ultimately come to fruition here within the darkened halls of this mystic mansion. This otherworldly abode became the home for my love of DC Comics, a virtual oasis for the serious DC fan where we can discuss our adoration for the World’s greatest comic book publisher, and also worship at the shrines that are Wonder Woman and Batman, for they are the two core pillars that sustain this mythological edifice.
Cassandra Vala and her extended cast of both friend, and foe still exist of course, I have continued to create and fashion their world since their inception in the back of my mind over three years ago. The project is ongoing, the initial writing phase is almost finished, the only thing that has been holding me back from heralding Cass and her oblique world are the actual illustrations themselves. I do have a modicum of artistic talent, but, unlike my literary skills I am a ridiculously slow artist, plus I prefer to write rather than draw, but had already decided to make the story completely my own both literary and visually… so it’s been a more laboured process than I had originally desired.
Recently though, I have made a concerted effort to finish the various sketches and pieces of artwork that have held me back from sharing this unique tale, and thus Cassandra’s trials and tribulations shall be receiving my full attention, and hopefully yours too, fellow Precinct denizen. In fact you’ve already met one of the antagonists from the saga, in the form of the Precinct’s carrion crow of woe – Eldritch, who I originally envisioned as a way to connect the Precinct to Cassandra’s reality, plus if you read our “Three Years In The Precinct” anniversary special and were wondering where the malevolent and mysterious portal at the end of the tale transported myself and (very occasional) fellow Precinct contributor Pete to… well Cassandra may very well be able to answer that particular paradox…
Excerpt Taken From – “The Chronicles Of Cassandra Vala”
“Things are different, and yet, so very much the same. I don’t recognise this place… even though I’ve been here before. I know I’m not making much sense, but neither does my life. My name is Cassandra Vala, and you are definitely not going to believe what I’m about to tell you!”
Cassandra Vala, all images, and text are copyright: Precinct1313.
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to yet another exhilarating episode of World’s Finest, a series of exclusive interviews that aims to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters, of… all… time.
Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and of course… Super Pets (there was a bit of drama earlier actually, when Streaky, Supergirl’s pet cat, came face to beak with the Precinct’s resident carrion crow of woe, Eldritch… unfortunately for Eldritch, Streaky can also fly!) Each episode our very special guests will be answering a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe, and cake (’cause everyone loves cake)
And so, let’s welcome to Precinct1313’s sedentary sanguine sofa of superbly scintillating superheroes, the effervescently eclectic and endearingly edacious… Etta Candy.
Precinct1313: Hi Etta, and thanks for joining us on this week’s episode of World’s Finest.
Etta Candy: I appreciate the invite, though it was quite the jaunt to get here, luckily Diana dropped me off in her invisible plane.
Precinct1313: Really!? damn, I wish I knew that, I have always wanted to see her famous jet.
Etta Candy: Uuuuuh, it’s invisible!
Precinct1313: I, Ummm, knew that… moving swiftly on, you and Diana have been best friends for many years now I believe.
Etta Candy: Yes indeed we have, since 1942 in fact, Diana’s a swell gal.
Precinct1313: Heh, Gal… that’s a good one.
Etta Candy: I’m sorry?
Precinct1313: You know, Gal, as in Gal Gadot… the actress who’s currently playing Wonder Woman.
Etta Candy: I have literally no idea what you are talking about, I mean Wonder Woman’s name is Diana, and she’s definitely not an actress, next you’ll be telling me that, oooooh I don’t know, that Lucy Davis was cast as me in a movie!
Precinct1313: Funny you should say that… basically though Etta, Precinct1313 exists between dimensions which is how we are able to interview fictional beings such as yourself, breaking that proverbial fourth wall if you like.
Etta Candy: Fourth wall?… wait a minute, did you just say I was fictional?
Precinct1313: Why yes, of course, you were created in 1942 by Wonder Woman’s mastermind, William Moulton Marsten.
Etta Candy: ………….
Precinct1313: Soooooo, as you have already mentioned, you have known Diana since the early forties, what do you think it was that made you become such close and firm friends, I mean you really are like chalk and cheese… or should that be chalk and candy… heh.
Etta Candy: I guess most people initially thought of me as comic relief, you know, what with my goofy catchphrases like “Woo Woo” and “For the love of chocolate” but despite my inherent zaniness, Diana and I are actually very alike.
Precinct1313: Interesting, in which ways do you perceive your similarities?
Etta Candy: We’re both outspoken, forthright and confident… we’re also both not adverse to the ol’ fisticuffs should the need arise…
Precinct1313: Oh yeah, that’s right, didn’t you actually form a fighting force from your sorority ‘The Holliday Girls’ and kick Nazi butt during WWII?
Etta Candy: Yes indeedy, Diana needed our help whilst battling the infamous Dr Poison, so I recruited one hundred brave girls from my unofficial sorority and, as you just said, kicked major butt… Woo-Woo!
Precinct1313: Cool! plus, if my knowledge of your long and varied history is correct, you have even saved Wondy’s life on a few occasions too.
Etta Candy: Oh my yes, once or twice, the most memorable was the time I deflected a bullet with my trusty box of candy!
Precinct1313: Wow! I’ve heard of death by chocolate, but life by candy is so much cooler!
Etta Candy: Ha ha.
Precinct1313: You also have the distinction of being one of the very few to be given honourary Amazon status.
Etta Candy: Yes, alongside Supergirl and Starfire to name but two, they cited my bravery and supreme confidence as major factors in their decision to make me one of their sisters… a true honour indeed.
Precinct1313: Well Etta I have to say it’s been an absolute pleasure having you visit us here in the Precinct… oh and the next time you see Diana could you mention that we would love to interview her.
Etta Candy: She’s rather busy, y’know saving the world and all, but I’ll see what I can do, Woo-Woo!
Excerpt Taken From – ‘In Pursuit Of Precinct1313 – Chapter One’
The storm raged tempestuously around us as we made our way through the treacherous and foreboding woodland intent on finding our prize, a long sought after structure of otherworldly power. We had been searching for this mythical edifice since we first heard whispers of its existence years earlier. Pushing ever deeper into the dense thicket, stopping only to cut our way through the tangle of overgrown trees and foliage, which in this storm moved and weaved almost as if attempting to drive us back. Craning my head up into the driving rain and winds, I noticed my colleague, who was a few feet ahead of me, had come to a stop, his gaze transfixed on something ahead.
“Pete?” I said, placing my hand on his right shoulder, “What’s up dude?,” Pete turned his face towards me, his expression was a mix of both elation and fear, a strange combination to be sure. He motioned a nod forwards and it was then that I noticed, not more than maybe twenty or so feet ahead, a dark and ominous building that strangely felt like it was looking, right back, at me! “I, uh, think this might be it” I said in a rather flustered tone, I was rattled believe me, the storm had almost immediately stopped as we had, which in itself was extremely unsettling. Pete and I looked at each other and then uniformly moved warily forward into what was now an almost deafeningly disquieting silence.
The impressive structure loomed towards us like a brooding nightmare from a Lovecraftian novel. Pete hastened up the stone steps stopping at the entrance portentously, I arrived at his side just as he was reaching for the handle. The large oak doors slowly creaked open, and suddenly, some ‘thing’ from inside, invisible to our eyes, pushed violently through us… “Free,” it uttered, “Free, at last.” Pete, strangely unperturbed by the freakish phenomena, moved forward into the darkened halls ahead, and, with a little more trepidation, I followed…
Excerpt Taken From – “In Pursuit Of Precinct1313 – Chapter Two”
“Damn, this place is a serious enigma, I mean look at it, three years down the line and we’re still discovering new rooms and annexes. The really odd thing is though, I could have sworn we’ve been down here before, yet I do not recognise that rather large vault door” I looked towards Pete, who stood silently in front of the prodigious round door, running his hands inquisitively over the smooth metallic surface.
“I don’t either” Pete remarked back, “there doesn’t seem to be any way of getting through it though… no handles, locks, nothing” Pete backed up, surveying the door curiously. “Eldritch?” Pete asked, looking towards me, I nodded silently and made my way back through the Precinct’s darkened hallways, Eldritch usually could be found perched silently in the mausoleum.
Eldritch had been with us since we had first discovered the Precinct, three years previous. He served as a silent guardian and guide to the mysterious mansion, a Carrion Crow of woe, whose ultimate purpose was unbeknownst to myself or Pete. Eldritch cocked his head towards me as I entered through the mausoleum’s ornate doorway, his onyx eyes glinting with a perceived menace. He focused his full attention towards me, almost as if he were gazing directly into my fragile psyche, before taking flight towards the inaccessible vault door.
I arrived a few moments later… the vault door was open, darkness filled it’s void, Pete nor Eldritch weren’t anywhere to be seen. I cautiously approached the perplexing lacuna, it’s darkness seemingly impenetrable, “Pete?” I whispered into the inky blackness, there came no reply… steeling myself, I stepped through…
Welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313, to our anniversary special. That’s right, the malefic mansion of mystery enters into it’s third year of existence, and we still find ourselves trapped within it’s vast depths. So, whilst we pursue the zenith of this delphic abode, we shall endeavour to bring you, our loyal Special Agents, our continuing in depth look at the wonderful world of DC Comics and beyond…
Many, many thanks to everyone who have, over the past three years – followed, liked, read and commented on our DC Comics-centric ramblings here in the Precinct… it is ‘YOU’ who make this entire endeavour worthwhile.
The Pursuit Of Precinct1313 Will Continue…
The Astonishing Amphitheatre of Awards once more unveils it’s secrets unto an unsuspecting world. The chamber of mysterious origin buried deep within the hallowed halls of Precinct1313 has determined to open it’s doors once more in order to bestow Special Agent status upon two more agents of 1313.
The amphitheatre shall be playing host and paying thanks to the Precinct’s most loyal followers, those remarkable agents that have given up their valuable time to read, like, and comment on our DC Comics-centric ramblings. So, welcome… Eldritch – the Precinct’s silent guardian, and carrion crow of woe will guide you to your seats (just be sure to avoid his gaze, lest you become beguiled by his malevolently malefic mind manipulation!) and so, without further ado, let’s begin the ceremony…
And tonight’s first remarkable recipient is Planetary Defence Command, this impressive individual has been an agent of 1313 since it’s inaugural inception almost three years ago. He specialises in breaking us free from the shackles of bad Sci-Fi, a talented reviewer and writer, who also gives his venerable opinion on Video-Games, Movies, and Board Games. Defence Commander, we salute you… welcome to Special Agent status.
Tonight’s second promotion goes to the illustriously ignescent Ignited Moth , our fantastic friend is a recent initiate to the Precinct, but has read, liked, and commented on each and every post that has emerged from this malefic mansion of mystery known as 1313, with her impressive artistic presence illuminating the shadowy halls of the Precinct with great comments and genuine interest. A fellow geek, she reviews TV, Film, and Comic Books, and is an extremely talented illustrator with a unique and electrifying style. Welcome to Special Agent status, my friend.
And that’s it for this week, the Amphitheatre will open it’s Daedalian Doors again soon to induct yet more of our followers to Special Agent status.
Feel free to display the Special Agent awards on your blogs, or not, I promise I won’t be upset if you don’t… or send Eldritch, the Precinct’s eerie crow around for a visit!
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to the inaugural episode of “World’s Finest”, this series will be introducing you to our favourite convocation of comic-book characters, of, all, time!
Every episode we will cast our celestial spotlight on one of our most treasured Superheroes, Supervillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, oh and… Super-Pets (because everyone loves Krypto, right!?)
So let’s begin our passionately personal preference of peerlessly popular paragons with… Princess Koriand’r of Tamaran, or more popularly known as “Starfire“.
So take your seats fellow fans of fantastic fiction and let’s acquaint ourselves with this episode’s extra special guest star…
Precinct1313: Hi Koriand’r, and thanks for joining us at Precinct1313 for our first episode of World’s Finest.
Starfire: Thanks so much for inviting me, it sure is an impressive structure.
Precinct1313: It surely is a marvellous mystery of malevolently malefic mansions.
Starfire: Uh, do you often talk like that?
Precinct1313: It’s a, uh, thing I do, alliteration is king here.
Starfire: Well I’m all for individuality, I am an alien to this world after all.
Precinct1313: You are indeed, from the planet Tamaran, I believe.
Starfire: That’s correct, a beautiful peaceful planet, that is, up until it’s destruction by The Blight.
Precinct1313: An awful tragedy, yet you seem to have found your feet here on Earth.
Starfire: I have always had my feet, they weren’t here on your planet but at the end of my legs.
Precinct1313: Uh, it’s sort of like a saying, you know, an aphorism…
Starfire: Aphorism? Ooooh, are they like related to the Aphorians from Quaxxel 7?
Precinct1313: I have literally no idea what you are talking about.
Starfire: Sigh… yeah, that happens a lot, did I mention I came from another planet.
Precinct1313: Yes you did, anyway can we start by asking actually who, in DC’s pantheon of creators was your particular favourite chronicler of your amazing adventures?
Starfire: Oooooh, we’re really breaking that fourth wall here huh, I would say,by far, the astonishing Amanda Conner, such an amazing talent.
Precinct1313: Agreed, she really is fantastic. Now, your initial introduction to the world of DC was in 1980 in – DC Comics Presents #26, did you feel nervous during your debut?
Starfire: Mmmmm, not really, I mean I was lucky to have been created by two of comicdom’s most prolific architects, marvelous Marv Wolfman and glorious George Perez.
Precinct1313: Ah yes indeed, they really are comic book royalty, if I can maybe get a little more personal, during your time with the tenaciously terrific Teen Titans, you were engaged in a rather passionate liaison with fellow member Nightwing, also known as Dick Grayson, former Robin to the Batman. Do you miss those halcyon days from your past?
Starfire: I love Nightwing, he was my first real relationship here on your beautiful blue planet, but I don’t lament what was, I celebrate what is.
Precinct1313: Mmmmm, profound. You recently starred in a 13 issue series by the aforementioned Amanda Conner and astounding artist Emanuela Lupacchino, it has actually become one of my favourite comic book runs of all time, and was a particular hit with your fans, to what do you attribute it’s success?
Starfire: Mainly down to Amanda’s peerless writing talent, I find she knows me better than most creators, I mean, it’s almost like, she’s inside my head.
Precinct1313: Well, she sort of is…
Starfire: Oh yeah, ha ha, of course, comic book character and all. Sorry, it’s not too often I have to breach that fourth wall, it takes some getting used to.
Precinct1313: I understand, well Koriand’r it’s been fantastic having you as a guest on World’s Finest and we wish you all the best for your future in crime fighting capers and planet saving escapades.
Starfire: It’s been a literal blast, uh, how do I get back to my reality from here again.
Precinct1313: Yours is the second universe on the left.
Starfire: Ooooh, *hugs*.
The Astonishing Amphitheatre of Awards once more unveils it’s secrets to an unsuspecting world. The chamber of mysterious origin buried deep within the hallowed halls of Precinct1313 has determined to open it’s esoteric doors again, in order to bestow Special Agent status upon two more agents of 1313.
The Amphitheatre shall be playing host and paying thanks, on a regular basis, to the Precinct’s most loyal followers, those remarkable agents that have given up their valuable time to read, like and comment on our DC Comics-centric ramblings. Two awards each and every week… so welcome, Eldritch – the Precinct’s sybilline resident Crow will guide you to your seats (just don’t stare at him… he hates that) and so, without further ado, let’s begin the ceremony…
Tonight’s first recipient is a blogging buddy who has been a tenant of the Precinct since it first surfaced from the depths of non-existence. RobbinsRealm is a talented reviewer of both film and television, with an in depth knowledge of said medium and a captivating writing style, his posts are always riveting. Welcome my friend to Special Agent status.
Tonight’s second promotion goes to the Poetess of Perfection, our very good friend Christy Birmingham. Christy is a wordsmith of the highest order, and one of the most amiable and personable people I have met online since I first started blogging with WordPress. Hi Christy, welcome to Special Agent status.
And that’s it for this week friends, the Amphitheatre will be open again one week from today to induct yet more of our loyal followers to Special Agent status.
(Feel free to display the Special Agent award on your blogs, or not, I promise I wont be upset if you don’t… or send Eldritch, the Precinct’s eerie Crow around for a visit!)
Welcome loyal followers and readers, today we break the seal and unveil for the first time Precinct1313’s Astonishing Amphitheatre of Awards. This sacred ceremonial chamber, buried deep within the hallowed halls of 1313, has been sealed for millennia by the ethereal former owners of this malefic mansion of mystery… until now.
The amphitheatre shall be playing host and paying thanks, on a regular basis, to the Precinct’s most loyal followers. Those remarkable Agents that have given up their valuable time to read, like, and comment on our DC Comics-centric ramblings. Two awards each and every week… so welcome, please take your seats (don’t mind the Crow, he just likes to observe, and is mostly harmless… mostly) and lets get to our first recipient of Special Agent status.
Jennifer has been a guest at Precinct1313 since it first opened it’s daedalic doors many moons previous, she is the highly talented web artist responsible for Little Monster Girl, a ridiculously fun and quirky character that you simply must discover. Thanks so much Jen for your support, you are the Precinct’s first Special Agent!
And our second promotion goes to the hilariously subversive humorist ‘Inspired By The Divine’, who runs a fantastically funny website aptly accorded ‘The Armchair Pontificator‘ this dude is waggish, quick witted and just downright entertaining. Here’s to you my friend, you really are inspired!
And that’s it for this week friends, the amphitheatre doors will reopen again one week from today to induct yet more of our loyal followers to Special Agent status.
(Feel free to display the Special Agent award on your blogs, or not, I promise I won’t be upset if you don’t, or send Eldritch, the Precinct’s creepy Crow around for a visit!)