Hey there fellow agents of Precinct1313 and a warm welcome to our fifth anniversary celebrations! That’s right the majestic mansion of mystery is celebrating five years of random musings on the world of DC Comics and general geekery!
It’s fantastic that you’ve all been able to join us down here in the Precinct’s celebrated comic crypts, for today we not only share the third annual episode of our ongoing scintillating saga – ‘In Pursuit Of Precinct1313’ but this titular tale has been woven so that it also serves as a prescient prologue to our (loooooooong in gestation) visual novel – ‘The Chronicles Of Cassandra Vala’ That’s right fellow fans of fantastic fiction , our ten year in the writing (ten… TEN!) odyssey begins right here, and from this humble introduction, it will then spill it’s masterfully malefic mystery on a monthly basis, right here, in Precinct1313!
To our followers, readers, and fellow bloggers may I just say many, many thanks for the continuing support of the Precinct over the past half decade with your comments and likes, it’s really, really appreciated, it is YOU that makes this entire blogging endeavour worthwhile… and so, on with the show…
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to the latest chilling chapter of ‘In Pursuit Of Precinct1313‘ if this is your first encounter with the thrilling tale of how we first discovered this Malefic Mansion of Mystery – then why not regale yourselves with the previous chapters right here – “Three Years In The Precinct”
In Pursuit Of Precinct1313 – Chapter III: The Chronicles Of Cassandra Vala
Darkness engulfed me as I entered the inky black void residing within the mysterious vault door, the nihility was all encompassing – no light, no sound, just vacuum. I wheeled on the spot, looking to return back through the perplexing vault egress, my heart was racing and cold beads of sweat formed on my brow, this interstice was, just, wrong… the doorway had disappeared, eaten up by the stygian dark. I was beginning to panic now, a disquieting anxiety pervaded through my fragile mind… where the hell was Pete? I moved cautiously forward, hands outstretched in front of me, scrabbling for something tangible.
My head started to spin, and nausea began to surge through me, taking to one knee I attempted to halt the gagging queasiness, whilst striving to calm my rising anxiety and slow my thunderous heartbeat. To no avail, I felt light-headed and could feel the cold embrace of the oncoming stupor… I cascaded head first into an unconscious abyss…
“Are you okay?” – a voice greeted me through the murk that had encroached upon my mind. “Can you stand?” the disembodied voice continued. Bright light began to penetrate my latent mind, the nausea had subsided, shaking my head vigorously I glanced up to see a woman standing over me, immaculately dressed, porcelain white skin and fiery red hair were my take from this unexpected, though hopefully serendipitous encounter. “I’m not sure” I replied “Where the hell am I?”
The woman took me by the arm and lifted me from my knees, surprisingly strong, her hand curled, rather painfully, in a vice like grip around my forearm “The more pressing question is where did you come from? I mean, you’re the second person we’ve found semi-conscious in this part of the building this morning, you’re not a patient here and you certainly should not have been able to get past security and into this wing without them noticing”
“I’m sorry but… who are you, what is this place?” I could feel the wave of anxious nausea returning as I eventually stood eye to eye with my apparent liberator. She was, quite literally, a vision to behold, flawless skin, her hair an almost impossibly vermilion red, viridescent green eyes that felt as though they were boring into my inner being, my anima seemingly laid bare for her to scrutinise.
“Oh, do forgive me, my name is Black, Doctor Rose Black, I’m the chief psychologist of this esteemed institute, hmm, you still look rather unsteady, follow me, let’s get you checked over” she took my arm, this time more gently, leading me slowly down the stark white corridor “It’s not far, how are you feeling now?”
“Confused, but not quite as queasy thankfully, you mentioned that you found someone else here earlier, it wasn’t another male, dark hair, name of Peter by any chance was it?” I glanced across at the Doctor, still hopelessly beguiled by her transcendent beauty.
“Yes, that’s right, Peter… perplexingly, he had a crow with him, it was dutifully perched on his shoulder, like some kind of pet, it really was a rather surreal sight”
“Eldritch” I replied “the crow’s name is Eldritch, though to be honest, we’re more likely his pets than vice versa” the statement felt ridiculous even as I said it, though, it was probably more than likely true. “You mentioned something about patients, an institute?”
“Yes, you have, somehow, found yourself inside Raven’s Reach Sanitarium, an institute dedicated to helping what some have deemed lost causes, mostly deeply disturbed and psychologically unbalanced individuals” Doctor Black turned her head towards me and smiled “here they find some semblance of peace and tranquillity, as we hopefully work our way towards rehabilitation and, perhaps, reintegration”
“We’ve arrived, if you’ll just make your way through that door on your right and wait a few moments, I’ll send one of our medical interns along to check you over” the Doctor beamed yet another impossibly radiant smile towards me before promptly guiding me through a robust steel door… then swiftly slamming it shut as I entered. I whirled on the spot, peering through the oval shaped hatch embedded within the steel barrier “what the hell? wh-what do you think you’re doing?” I stuttered, nausea once again began to bubble up and I pressed my hands against the cold metallic door frame, to steady against the rise of the unsolicited vertigo.
“You honestly didn’t think I’d just believe you when you said you had no idea where you are, or how you got here did you? I mean come on now” Dr Black’s former radiance disappeared in an instant, replaced by a humourless, grave expression “but not to worry, I’m sure we’ll get to the bottom of things fairly soon, in the meantime, I have done you the courtesy of allowing you to share this room with your companions”
I turned to see Pete sitting on a small bed lodged in the corner of what now appeared to be a padded room, his face bore an expression of morose acceptance… ” got you too huh?” he said, “was kinda hoping you’d not get caught as well and maybe, I dunno, break me out of here?” Pete’s shoulders slumped as he realised that, unfortunately, we were now both in the same predicament. Just to the left of Pete, perched on the bed’s headboard was Eldritch, his onyx eyes fixed upon me, a mocking look for my own ineptitude at extricating them from this peculiar predicament.
“Hello?” a voice punctuated through the disquieting malaise “are you new here?” the disembodied voice appeared to be emanating from the room to the left of our padded cell. “Uuh hey… anyway you can possibly tell us what in the hell is going on?” I furrowed my ear into the soft padding of the cell’s wall “who are you, why has that Doctor detained us in here… in fact where in the hell is here?” my voice rose and fractured in frantic agitation at the situation at hand. “Here?” the female voice replied softly “well currently, at least for me, here, is Raven’s Reach Sanitarium, though what ‘here’ will be as the day goes on, well, who can tell… oh, and my name’s Cassandra by the by, and as far as the Doctor is concerned…” the voice paused, as if unsure how to continue “well, uh, at this time I’m not sure who or what she is, it changes you see”
“Changes?” I queried at the disincarnate voice “what does that even mean, look, uh, Cassandra, I could really use some answers right now, I feel like I’m losing my mind” I turned to look wearily back at Pete, who sullenly shrugged and retorted – “sorry Bruce but you expected to get a straight answer from an incorporeal voice in the adjacent padded cell of a sanitarium! I mean, really!?” I stared at Pete, succumbing to what little rationale still persisted in my mind “You’re right, I know, I just… ” huffing the air from my lungs, shoulders slumped in aquiescence, I walked to the corner of the stark white room, dropped to my knees and burrowed my face into my palms.
“Maybe you’ve always been here Bruce” Cassandra responded cryptically “and maybe, just maybe, I have too, at least, this version of me” I peered at Pete through my fingers, who quietly mouthed “uh huh… sanitarium” Eldritch cocked his head towards me and nodded in conjunction with Pete. Burying my face back into the comforting darkness of my hands I wondered whether what Cassandra was saying bore some semblance of truth, I mean, here I was in a padded room, in a sanitarium no less, after walking through a mysterious portal contained within the crypts of a preternatural mansion known as Precinct1313, where I have apparently resided for the past five years, alongside my closest friend and… get this, a psychic crow, I mused that last thought over again, a psychic crow… yep, there’s a damn fine chance that I am actually, bat-shit crazy!
“She’s here” Cassandra uttered “I have to go, please don’t mention that we spoke, she doesn’t like it when patients converse with one another, maybe we can talk again later, if I’m still me of course…” I gazed anew at Pete, who just shook his head “Sanitarium dude, Sanitarium… “
Hey there fellow agents, and if you’ve managed to stay the course of this strange tale then, thanks… ’tis much appreciated. This prologue will evolve into the monthly fable we have entitled – The Chronicles Of Cassandra Vala – below I have included a small art gallery of my early concept designs for the lead characters from the visual novel, enjoy, and whilst you’re here, why not make your way down to the Precinct’s hallowed Halls Of Quaffing to help celebrate our fifth year in existence… I would join you, but I appear to be confined within a small padded room somewhere, else! Ah well, means more booze for the rest of you huh? silver linings and all that.
The Chronicles Of Cassandra Vala – Character Concept Art –
All text and imagery are copyright – Precinct1313.
Zombies have, in the last decade become rather de-rigueur, in fact you can’t swing a chainsaw without hitting at least another few dozen low budget movies, TV series or video games starring re-animated flesh munching corpses. Much like an undead apocalypse itself, zombie media has hit oversaturation point. I’m sure when influential horror director George Romero first introduced the modern zombie to a horrified audience back in 1968 with the seminal Night Of The Living Dead, he had absolutely no idea that these ghastly ghouls would one day be so over used, that all their dread and terror would give way to a yawn and passive indifference, zombies just aren’t scary anymore… (that said, if I was actually to meet a zombie – I’d be pretty damn terrified! Ooh, ooh, unless it’s a zombified Christina Ricci… I adore Christina Ricci, even if she was a flesh eating, undead, green skinned, puss ridden monster… I’d still adore her! Mmmmm, went a little off topic there… on with the show!)
When Romero’s groundbreaking introduction to the living dead first hit the cinema screen back in the sixties, it was met with revulsion and abhorrence by an audience unfamiliar with such overtly graphic violence.
Romero’s low budget, independent movie was the catalyst of a thousand imitators, some were great (Lucio Fulci’s “Zombie”, Dan O’Bannon’s “Return Of The Living Dead”) but most were awful Z grade rip offs, literally hordes of terribly made and woefully acted low budget cash ins, riding on the back of the movie going publics sudden reverence of all things undead.
It wouldn’t be long before video-game companies decided to take on this burgeoning horror phenomenon with their own interpretations, with the most prolific and famous of the digital dead games beginning in an imposing mansion in the Arklay Mountains, site of the original outbreak of the T-Virus and our initial introduction to S.T.A.R.S and the sinister Umbrella Corporation.
Resident Evil (known as Biohazard in Japan) was first unleashed to video gamers worldwide in 1996, developed by Japanese company Capcom (of Street Fighter fame) and helmed by game design auteur Shinji Mikami. It is one of the original progenitors of survival-horror, a sub genre of gaming that takes cues from horror fiction and focuses on the survival of the main character against overwhelming odds, with limited resources at their disposal.
The first game established many of the ongoing conventions and tropes for the survivalist series, such as the limited inventory system, third person perspective, fixed camera angles for dramatic effect and the iconic typewriter save system.
The game opens with the elite members of S.T.A.R.S (Special Tactics And Rescue Service) responding to the disappearance of fellow team members who lost contact in the remote area on the outskirts of Raccoon City, known as the Arklay Mountains.
Players choose to take control of either Jill Valentine or Chris Redfield at the start of the game, and then, with their chosen avatar, proceed into the mysterious mansion embedded deep within the creepy forests of Arklay Mountains in search of their fellow team-mates.
Graphics are a mix of three dimensional characters set against pre-rendered backdrops, fixed camera angles give the game a rather compelling cinematic feel.
As your chosen avatar explores the mansion they discover documentation in the form of diary entries and audio tapes that provide story beats and exposition, as well as uncovering clues to the various puzzles that need to be undertaken to progress through the mission. The combat takes centre stage through the use of a variety of firearms discovered around the environment, though ammo conservation is important as ammunition is limited.
The inevitable health loss can be counteracted by the use of either first aid sprays or three different types of combinable herbs. The capacity for carrying items on person is also limited, though extraneous items can be kept in an item box for later use. Saving is done through typewriters that are scattered through the mansion, ink ribbons must first be located before saving is possible, and once more these are in limited supply so must be used sparingly.
Player characters will fight through a succession of undead and mutated creatures as they progress, from the humble zombie through, giant spiders and hulking behemoths. Also of note are the multiple endings the game can deliver depending on the actions taken by the player throughout their adventure, giving the game an impulsive replayability.
Capcom’s Resident Evil is a landmark game, it is almost single handedly responsible for the Survival-Horror genre and is one of the longest running video game franchises of all time, with the most recent game “Resident Evil 7″ released to abundant praise from fan and critic alike. Though there have been a couple of missteps (Resident Evil 6 being rather… awful) the majority of titles in the franchise have been absolute gems and are a blast to play (with personal faves being Resi 4 and Code Veronica) The original has seen a remastered overhaul with an upgraded version released on platforms such as Xbox One Playstation 4, and as of this month – Nintendo’s fabulous Switch… which means Zombie blasting on the go! so there’s never been a better time to immerse yourself in the wonderful world of zombies, elite swat teams and evil corporations.
“Aah, welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313, you’re just in time to follow Eldritch (the precinct’s resident carrion crow of woe) and myself down to the infamous ‘Scrying Chamber’ Within this portentous room stands a single stone tablet upon which sits an ominous black crystal ball that not only has the power to decipher the future, but also, recreate the past through vivid evocation.”
“As we wend our way down through the ceaseless and interminable depths of this magnificently malefic mansion of mystery why not take in the various sites as we descend… such as the astounding ‘Ancient Amazon Archives’ or the colossal ‘Comic Crypts’ Just coming up on your right you’ll notice the magnificent ‘Movie Mausoleum’ and a couple of floors down you’ll hear the hearty cheers from the hallowed ‘Halls of Quaffing’ “
“And, we have arrived, please approach the sphere of prevenience carefully and gaze deeply into it’s sanguine depths until something from the Precinct’s posting past begins to take shape… “
“So how about we relive the pestiferous pairing of Hellacious Harley Quinn and the Main Man himself – Lobo, from this portentous post from the past, first published 3 years previous… “
“Feetal’s Gizz” why didn’t anyone think of this pernicious pairing before now (OK, I admit, it didn’t even cross my mind until I saw the previews for this latest issue) but the Main Man and the Mistress of Mayhem teaming up is a match made in heaven (actually, in their particular case, Hell) That’s right my DC Comics’ loving compatriots, Harley Quinn and Lobo are together at last, and it’s as unpredictable, chaotic and crazy as you could imagine… which is great!
Now I’m sure that by now, even if you aren’t a huge fan of reading comics (tell me that ain’t so) you all know who the hellacious Harley Quinn is, but maybe you have never crossed paths with the invincible, space biking Czarnian psychotic Lobo, well never fear… the Precinct is here, and you can read up on the Main Man’s troubled history right here… phew! are you still with us after that briefly violent respite into Lobo’s malevolently malign backstory, you are!? In that case you will love this delectably dangerous duo’s teaming, and there is also icing on this deliciously depraved cake in the form of artistic auteur Simon Bisley!
British artist Simon Bisley is the person most people think of when referring to Lobo, thanks to his stellar work on the character throughout the 90’s, alongside Keith Giffen they made Lobo a household name to comic book aficionado’s across the globe. ‘It’s good to be bad’ was pretty much their mantra, and Lobo is so bad, he makes Harley seem (almost) angelic in comparison!
This book contains so much toilet humour, sexual innuendo, extreme ultra violence and offensive material that it probably shouldn’t be read by anyone… well anyone who is offended by such things, the rest of us should just dive on into a fantastically funny comic brought to us by that dynamically delightful writing duo Amanda Conner (who also drew the classic cover) and Jimmy Palmiotti, once more showing us that as far as comedic storytelling in comic books is concerned, they are the unequivocal vituosi of the art.
“Lobo’s back, the main man and Harley Quinn have a lot in common – motorcycles and mayhem for starters, so it’s long past time they found each other! This could be the start of a fraggin’ beautiful friendship… or they could destroy the planet. Or both! it can be two things!”
Harley’s Little Black Book #6 is available at your local comic book emporium right now. Brought to you by – Amanda Conner, Jimmy Palmiotti and Simon Bisley… go and fraggin’ buy it, you don’t want Lobo to find out you didn’t!!
Mmmmm, we haven’t dared to tread the perilous path of the infamous Top 10 list so far here in the darkest depths of Precinct1313, never really gave the idea of doing one much thought to be honest. That is until recently, when blogging buddy ‘The Vintage Toy Advertiser’ rendered his very own (and really rather amusing) Top 10 masterclass (which you can indulge your senses in right here) that we thought, suffering sappho, let’s do one of them there list things then, and thus…
Precinct1313’s Ten Favourite Furiously Fierce Femme’s Fatale
NB: This list will contain both fictional and non-fictional wildly wondrous warrior women for your delectation…
No.10 – Big Barda
No list of vivacious virago vixens should ever be without the formidable presence of fighting fury and thorn in Granny Goodness’ side – Big Barda, for she truly encompasses everything to love about powerful, vibrant female characters who are easily able to match and (in most cases for Barda especially) surpass their male counterparts. How tough is Barda? we’ll let the picture below answer that query…
No.09 – Lara Croft
Quintessentially British acrobatic archaeologist Lara Croft has been raiding tombs, securing ancient artefacts and performing perilous platforming since she was first unleashed unto the gaming world by Core Design in 1996. Since that time she has become one of the most recognisable video-game characters of all time and sits proudly in the upper echelons alongside Master Chief, Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog.
No.08 – Moon Lee
I’m an 80’s kid, I grew up during that phenomenal decade alongside many classic onscreen action stars and martial artists, even as a youngster my preference was always female characters/fighters and one of the biggest influences for me then was the magnificent Moon Lee. Hong Kong action star supreme, Moon Lee Choi-Fung starred in close to a formidable fifty films during her heyday of the 1980’s!
No. 07 – Batwoman
Kate Kane’s Batwoman alter ego first debuted in the 1956 issue of Detective Comics #233 created by Bob Kane and Sheldon Moldoff. Initially created as a female counterpart and love interest to the Batman, Kate has over the past sixty years (thankfully) shed that unfortunate creation calamity and has now become one of the biggest and most beloved of female comic book characters, with a much needed revamp and resurgence through the hand of artist/writer JH Williams III. Reversing the inauspicious and unenlightened conception and delivering a new standard for empowerment in the burgeoning female Superhero market.
No. 06 – Catwoman
Though most Bat-fans see The Joker as Batsy’s biggest foe, for me personally the character that inhabited that perch was always anti-hero cat burglar Selina Kyle. Though Mr J is without a doubt the bigger threat to the dark and surly one’s psyche, Selina holds something over Bats that the jester of genocide never, ever could… his heart. She has been Batman’s most enduring love interest since her inception in Batman #1 in June of 1940… puuuurfect!
No. 05 – Cynthia Rothrock
As previously mentioned some of the biggest influences on me growing up were the plethora of fantastic fighting females that occupied the realms of martial arts cinema, and my most beloved and admired is none other than scintillating Cynthia Rothrock. American born Cynthia is quite possibly the most successful female martial arts master in history – she is five times world champion in weapons and forms and currently holds an astonishing seven black belts in varying martial disciplines! She has also starred in over fifty movies throughout her career, and has acted alongside greats such as Sammo Hung and Michelle Yeoh.
No. 04 – Batgirl
Though the Batgirl name and costume have been inhabited by several different women over the years, the most beloved and well known is assuredly the second holder of the bombastic bat mantle – Barbara (Babs) Gordon. Replacing original holder of the title – Bette Kane (who was created in 1961) Babs debut was in 1967, daughter of Gotham Police Commissioner James Gordon and head of Gotham City Library. Her auspicious crime fighting career began with a triumphant save of Bruce Wayne from a kidnapping plot wrought by SuperVillain Killer Moth, and cemented her place in Bat history!
No. 03 – Elvira – Mistress Of The Dark
Elvira may not be a martial arts action star or female fighting force but what she definitely is, is a sensation of female empowerment and positive attitude. A strong, outspoken comedienne who used her innate sexual prowess to turn the tables on mysogynynistic and prejudice laden media from her first appearance courtesy of actress Cassandra Peterson in 1981. Self deprecating and dripping in risque double-entendres, her campy humour has propelled the voluptuous vixen vamp to celebrated cult status, and beyond!
No. 02 – Starfire
Fiery alien princess – Starfire has been a favourite of the Precinct since she was first unleashed in the pages of DC Comics Presents #26 in 1980. Created by the legendary pairing of comic book royalty – George Perez and Marv Wolfman, Koriand’r instantly became a much beloved character and mainstay of The Teen Titans. Hailing from the planet Tamaran, Kory escaped the ravaging of her home by Tamaran enemies The Citadel and her own feuding sister Komand’r (aka – Blackfire) and made a new life for herself on Earth. She is currently the leader of the Teen Titans and founding member of Justice League Odyssey alongside Jessica Cruz, Azrael and Cyborg.
No. 01 – Wonder Woman
Well, if you’ve been following the Precinct for any length of time then you probably knew that the Themysciran Titan would, of course, occupy the titular top spot, and hey, guess what… you were right! I’ve been a WW fan since I was around nine years old she is truly the greatest fictional female character ever, and has had the most significant and profound effect upon female empowerment of any fictitious persona ever created. Her genius creator William Moulton Marston first envisioned the Amazonian warrior princess in 1941, when she took the covetous cover appearance on All Star Comics #8. Marston was a supporter of the Suffragette movement of the 1940’s, of whom his own wife Elizabeth was a founding member.
All hail the wondrous one!
If you’ve managed to stay the course of this list, then thanks fellow Agents. Who are some of your personal favourite female furies of all time? let battle commence in the comments below…
Eight decades ago, the gun barrel of Joe Chill violently unleashed unto the unsuspecting denizens of Gotham City, a nocturnal nightmare of which it had never seen. The tragic murder of Bruce Wayne’s parents right before his innocent eyes created a force of vengeance and justice that has been preying on Gotham’s criminal underbelly with furious anger ever since… The Batman!
Created by the genius pairing of artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger, the creepy and curmudgeonly creature of the night’s first ever appearance was in DC Comics’ much revered Detective Comics, in May of 1939. Since that time, the Dark Knight has gone on to become, quite possibly, the most popular and recognised Superhero ever conceived, with his fame spreading across every single entertainment medium from comic books through video-games, TV shows, movies, toys, clothes, novelisations and much, much more, firmly cementing his place in heroic history.
But what is it that compels readers to immerse themselves in a vengeance driven Manhunter, a being that has devoted his life to bringing his own brand of Bat-justice to a corrupt and dystopian city seething with criminal detritus? I absolutely believe it’s his inherent vulnerability and pathos, you see unlike most Superheroes, Bruce is ultimately just a man in a costume… he can’t leap tall buildings in a single bound, or deflect bullets with bracelets, he’s not capable of reaching the speed force, or even talking to fish! but what he does possess is the inherent belief in own righteousness and decency, it’s his integrity and morality that has enabled him to rise above a sea of costumed crime-fighters and be the best he can be, no matter the adversity or lack of powers thereof… the mark of a true hero (of course, billions of dollars, an unsurpassed mastery of several martial arts, genius level intellect, and a compendium of glorious gadgets also, sort of help!)
My first encounter with the Caped Crusader was when my Mum purchased me an issue of Detective Comics when I was a mere six years of age, this was not only the first time I had ever read a Batman comic, but was in fact the first comic book I had ever read. I remember re-reading the issue at least a dozen times over in one sitting and was eager to divert more of my attention to this amazing hitherto unseen world that contained fantastical costumed characters who really captured my young imagination in a way nothing else previously had. I have been fanatical of the Dark Knight since that time, and my Mum, still to this day, will buy me the odd Batman comic or gift, and has, over the years, become a huge Bat-fan herself (she especially loves Michael Keaton’s portrayal, but also really enjoyed the more recent Nolan films)
Detective Comics #466 marked my initial encounter with the Masked Manhunter, and told the tale of Batman’s clash with villain, Signalman… not exactly an iconic member of Batman’s rogues gallery it has to be said, but it was my very first brush with a SuperVillain. This amazingly nostalgic comic issue also introduced me to the fact that Batman shared a universe with other Superheroes, thanks to a very enjoyable back up story, that regaled the young me with the daring adventures of the Emerald Archer – Green Arrow, and so it was through the caped and surly one that I discovered my other infatuation in comic book form – Wonder Woman! Batman has brought many fantastic gifts to my life… Happy 80th anniversary to THE greatest comic book character of, all, time!
Long Live The Batman!
(Batman is trademark – DC Comics)
“It’s on the thirteenth floor, appropriately” the landlord mentioned as we approached the apex of the top floor of his ‘luxury’ apartment block.
“Appropriately?” I questioned back at the rather burly man who was quietly fumbling for the requisite key to the apartment we had just reached.
“Oh didn’t I mention, this apartment is really rather special, it has the most glorious view of the city from a large picturesque window situated in its front room, and, well, I dunno, I guess the number thirteen sort of comes to mind whenever I think about him… uh, it!? Mmmmmm, no’one’s really sure if he’s human, or something, else”
My curiosity piqued – ” Him? who exactly are we talking about?”
“Wow, you’re really not from around here are you, I mean your accent sounds, British, right?” the landlord sighed heavily as he finally found the relevant apartment key.
“Yes, I’m English, only been in the states for a couple of days in fact, I’m a writer you see, one in need of a healthy dose of inspiration, I thought travelling across the pond and making my home here in Gotham for a few months might help blow away those writer’s block cobwebs… again, who is this mysterious, entity to whom you refer?”
The landlord turned towards me with a look of startling incredulity “Batman, of course, what rock have you been living under, Brit or not, I mean come on, it’s the goddamn Batman!”
“Batman?” my brow furrowed at the idea “he’s actually real?, I always thought he was some kind of myth, a sort of urban legend, you know a boogeyman type”
The landlord’s lips cracked into a rather ominous smile “Oh he’s the boogeyman alright, ‘cept in his case he only does harm to those who deserve it, anyway, please go in and take a look around, but I suggest you make up your mind quickly if you are at all interested, this apartment is well sought after and I have two more viewings this evening”
The apartment was much larger than I had at first envisioned, but then at the price he was charging I could probably afford a mansion in comparison, but it was, strangely enough, the apartment number that had attracted me to the viewing – 1313, there just seemed something, familiar about it.
“And here we are” the landlord stood in front of a sizeable plate glass window with what could only be described as a spectacular view onto the city itself, yet, with the constant torrential rain and lightning storm, and the ridiculously prodigious amount of black spires and gargoyles that peppered the immediate skyline, Hell came more to mind. “This window is better than any TV set you’ve ever seen, and if you’re looking for inspiration to break your writer’s block, well, this particular room might very well be your new favourite muse”
I pressed my nose against the cold glass “How so?” I asked, curious of his assertion.
“Well, you see, for some reason the Bat seems to frequent this particular area rather often, I mean we do have a rather high crime rate here, but that could be said for the entire city, it’s Gotham after all, infamous across the world for just this reason. This particular suburb – Park Row is actually more famous for one particular street dubbed ‘Crime Alley’ by the locals, if you look just over to your left you can see the infamous thoroughfare, the downgrade of this area began maybe thirty years ago after an awful tragedy involving Gotham’s famous affluent family, The Waynes…”
“Ah, as in the parents of billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne?” I said glancing towards the landlord, who appeared a little miffed at my interruption “I think I’ve heard this story, but please, continue on Sir”
“As I was saying, it’s been at least three decades since that awful night, when, after a evening out at the movies with their young son Bruce, the Waynes, Thomas and Martha were gunned down in cold blood right before the very eyes of their child, I mean can you imagine that, how it would taint your life… well it certainly tainted this area that’s for sure and the entire city itself, things got worse from that night onward, the city began its slow gradual descent into hell, I know, I know, I sound awfully dramatic but… wait a second, is that?”
The landlord stood transfixed staring out the window, like a deer caught in headlights, “what is it?” I said whirling on the spot following his gaze. Something dark was moving through the buildings, at first it appeared to be some kind of gigantic corvidae, but one of this size would be ridiculous, we continued to watch as the ‘thing’ descended to the ground below. It was then that the darkened figure began to take shape as my eyes adjusted to the light differential outside, it was clearly some kind of humanoid creature, though like no man I had ever encountered before. The head bore two rather long pointed ears and what seemed to be large black wings draped around the impressively framed individual.
“It’s him!” the landlord exclaimed with an almost childlike glee “told ya huh, can’t believe he appeared just as I was telling you about him though, really creepy timing, and yet…” the landlord glanced at a calendar hanging on the back wall “that’s it!, weirdly enough he seems to come here, to crime alley every year on this particular day”
I looked back towards the calendar “26th of September, Mmmmm, I wonder what the significance of this date is to such a man, umm, creature? that he should appear every year on this very day” I looked back out of the window towards where this ‘Bat’ had been, “he’s gone! I mean, he was there literally a second ago!”
The landlord’s face broadened into a large wry grin “Oh yeah, he’s good at that! off to take down a murderous clown or a riddling sociopath I would hazard, so, after that excitement, what do you think of the place, interested?”
I turned away from the window “I’ll take it” I said confidently.
“Yeah, thought ya would” the landlord passed me the keys”Oh, and we’ve had a few writers rent the place in the past you know, I believe they may have even left some of theirs musings and manuscripts up in the loft area, may be of interest to you.” The landlord turned on the spot and slowly made his way for the door “Welcome to Gotham” he uttered as he closed the door behind him.
“Thanks” I murmured back “I think I’m going to like it here” I gazed towards the trap door that gave access to the attic area… “yeah, I really think I’m going to like it here”
To Be Continued…
Batman and Gotham City are trademarks of DC Comics.
Welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313, and thanks so much for joining us in the malefic mansion of mystery’s infamous Halls of Quaffing for our regular yearly round up of geeky goodness from the space year 2018. So why not pull up a chair, grab a flagon of your favourite beverage and re-live some of our favourite nerdy necessities in comic-book form, from the past twelves months…
Precinct1313’s Favourite Comic-Book Series Of 2018…
And hoo boy has it been a stand out year for stunning storylines, in fact there have been so many amazing comic-books released this year that picking just three was almost impossible, yet we have managed to do just that with these particularly cool, compelling and consummate creations…
Scintillating scribe – Tom King was without a doubt the finest choice for taking one of DC Comics’ most beloved Superheroes, expert escapologist Mister Miracle, not only because Tom is one of the very best writers in comics today, but also because his surname ably pairs him with Miracle’s genius and legendary creator – Jack ‘The King’ Kirby!
To honour the 100th anniversary since acclaimed creator (and in our humble opinion – most important figure in comics, ever!) Jack Kirby’s birth, DC Comics alongside writer Tom King and artist Mitch Gerads reunited us with one of Kirby’s most captivating and heralded heroes – super escape artist Mister Miracle, through a 12 issue series that also featured The New Gods from DC’s classic Fourth World Saga.
Miraculous is most definitely the word to describe Tom King and Mitch Gerad’s superlative take on Scott Free’s convoluted life, emotional, poignant and groundbreaking also come to mind when describing the extraordinary genius that this series has been. An unreserved masterpiece, and an emotionally charged, breathtakingly brilliant read every single issue. BUY… IT… NOW!
If you’ve been following Precinct1313 for awhile now, you probably realise that Watchmen is unreservedly our favourite comic book of all time. When I first encountered Alan Moore’s trailblazing series in 1986 I was blown away, it was a unique and contemporary take on the Superhero genre, a treatise on social anxiety and a complete deconstruction of Superhero conceptualisation. It was different to everything that came before it, and is almost single-handedly responsible for transforming the face of the comic-book medium for both future creators and readers… a veritable masterpiece!
Thirty two years later and writer Geoff Johns and artist Gary Franks effortlessly transport us back to the wonderfully dark and grimy world set up by Moore, through DC’s 12 issue maxi-series Doomsday Clock. Stylistically the comic evokes the original material perfectly from the dialogue set through to the originals nine panel layout, both visually and tone wise this feels perfectly at home with its peerless predecessor.
If you’re a fan of Watchmen and can get past the apparent controversy that a sequel to the seminal original exists, then this is a must buy. Johns and Franks have presented an excessively well written, dark but at times amusing sequel to the originals world of masked vigilantes, chaos and deep rooted fears and anxiety, and I for one have enjoyed every moment of my stay in its fatalistic presence.
Supergirl: Being Super…
(Ok, Ok, this technically came out in 2017 – but I didn’t personally experience it until the beginning of 2018, hence its place on this list)
Origin Tales have been, let’s be honest, spectacularly overused in both the comic-book scene and their spin off movie counterparts, I mean how many times do we really need to witness Batman losing his parents to the gun barrel of Joe Chill or Spiderman being bitten by a radioactive arachnid, these characters are now so iconic that even non comic-book fans are overly familiar with their backstories.
With that said, you may feel slightly bemused by my inclusion of a series that dynamically delves into the past of Superman’s famous cousin, Kara Zor-El, but there is a genuinely good reason for that… because it’s fantastic!! In fact, it’s not only one of the greatest Supergirl comics to have ever released, but, one of the greatest comic-book series ever published… period!
Supergirl: Being Super is the Mariko Tamaki penned opus that transcends Kara’s origins by offering us a fresh take that focuses more upon her relationships, trials and tribulations of everyday life as a teenage girl growing up in a small american town. It’s a slower burn as a comic, with less super heroics but more angst, sass and quirky dialogue, as we follow Kara in an engaging and fantastically well written coming of age tale.
If you approach the series with atypical expectations of copious amounts of explosions, super speed and heat vision, you’re going to leave disappointed, this is a tale that spotlights the person behind the iconic “S” symbol and it’s all the better for it. Supergirl: Being Super is another stunning revelation in Superhero story telling, and my favourite iteration of the classic character thus far.
Precinct1313’s Most Popular Posts Of 2018…
Phew, what a year huh… I have to say that we haven’t output as many posts this year as we did in 2017, but, unfortunately, sometimes life just gets in the way right? That said, 2018 has been the year where the Precinct’s readership and followers have increased exponentially more than any other year thus far. By far the most viewed posts emanating from the majestic mansion of mystery have been the World’s Finest interview series, which, by the way are also my absolute faves to write! We also dipped our creative toes into the oceanic depths of YouTube unboxing videos with the Vlog1313 vids, where we endeavoured to share with you our unparalleled love for the stunningly realised physical forms of our beloved heroes and villains.
The most popular and perused of our World’s Finest posts this year was the Death interview, starring Morpheus’ soul guiding sister – Didi. Which I’m sure you are all dying to relive right here: World’s Finest: An Exclusive Interview With Death
My personal favourite to write was the Circe interview, an amazing and in my opinion underutilised Wonder Woman foe with a marvellous mythologically rich backstory and a power set that easily rivals her titular foe. Delight in her damnation of our hapless interviewer right here: World’s Finest: An Exclusive Interview With Circe
The most viewed of our V-Log1313 videos also has my favourite statue I have yet procured for my collection, the remarkable recreation of Amanda Conner’s stunning Starfire #1 cover from the fantastic 2015 12-issue maxi series. You can view my amateurish first steps to video authoring right here: V-Log1313: Amanda Conner Starfire Statue Unboxing
And with that, all that’s really left to say is Happy New Year to all of the Precinct’s followers, readers and fellow bloggers, as ever it is you that makes this entire endeavour worthwhile! Oh, and as always… Make Mine DC!
Welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313 to another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aim to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!
Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons and, of course, Super-Pets to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe, and cake (’cause everyone loves cake!)
And so, let’s welcome to Precinct1313’s stately sanguine sofa of shockingly satirical secrets – the larger than life, laudable yet litigious loner – Lego Batman!
Precinct1313: Welcome Bats, and thanks so much for joining us on this weeks World’s Finest.
Lego Batman: It’s Batman… B-A-T-M-A-N! not Bats or Batsy, or any other cute nickname… I’m the goddamn Batman!
Precinct1313: Uuh, I’m sorry, Batman… loving that Frank Miller reference though, very cool.
Lego Batman: Who?
Precinct1313: You know, Frank Miller, one of the most celebrated chroniclers of your adventures.
Lego Batman: Never heard of the guy, I, of course, chronicle my own adventures, I mean, who else could do as an amazing job as me… I’m Batman, although Alfred is currently helping write my memoirs for my upcoming autobiography.
Precinct1313: Intriguing, and what’s the title of said book so I can pick it up once it’s available.
Lego Batman: “I’m Batman – An Autobiography”
Precinct1313: Erm, that title seems a little… simple, for someone of your stature…
Lego Batman: It does have a subtitle.
Precinct1313: Which is?
Lego Batman: “The Memoirs Of The World’s Most Significantly Awesome And Greatest Superhero, Who Has Beaten Superman In Every Fight Ever, Has Dated Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Zatanna, Power Girl… In Fact Every Female Superhero In Existence, Is A Billionaire Genius With Lots Of Cool Gadgets And A Batcave, And Is Appreciably More Important Than Anyone Who Has Ever… Ever Lived”
Precinct1313: That is, uuh, one seriously impressively long subtitle you have there.
Lego Batman: Yeah, well, the ladies dig a guy with an impressively long subtitle…
Precinct1313: I’m sorry!?
Lego Batman: Oh nothing, go on, ask me another question so I can dazzle you with my wit, charm, expertise and, of course, supreme modesty…
Precinct1313: Ok then, now you recently starred in a big budget blockbuster movie, how hard was the switch from a night-clad costumed vigilante to an actor and superstar?
Lego Batman: Pfft! well I’ve always been a superstar…. world’s greatest Superhero, remember, but it also turns out I’m a damn fine thespian also…
Precinct1313: It had quite the cast list too, with virtually every member of your infamous Rogues Gallery appearing.
Lego Batman: Mmmmm, speaking of my Rogues Gallery, is that a photo of you and the Mischievous Minx of Mayhem hanging on the wall?
Precinct1313: You mean the photo of Harley Quinn and myself? yes indeed she was a guest on the show a few months back… in fact she was sat on that very sofa you are on right now.
Lego Batman: Whaaaaat! why didn’t you tell me, the sofa is probably rigged to explode, or implode… it’s definitely going to do some kind of ‘ploding’ that’s for sure…
Precinct1313: Eh, surely not, I mean she was really rather nice to be honest, well apart from the bit where she violently assaulted me with a comically oversized mallet.
Lego Batman: Mmmm, yes, as I suspected, the sofa is rigged with Smilex gas… the Joker’s deadly toxin, and through the pressure of my Bat-butt I seem to have triggered the mechanism… we have only seconds to live!
Precinct1313: I’m sorry! did you say seconds to live!? ummm, what are we going to do!?
Lego Batman: Well I’m going to retrieve my Bat gas-mask from my trusty utility belt, whereas you will likely inhale the Smilex, laugh manically until your internal organs rupture and then die in severe pain with a hideous rictus grin on your face… unfortunately!
Lego Batman is trademark: DC Comics.
Hey there fellow Agents of Precinct1313 and welcome to another episode of V-Log1313. Now, you may remember in a previous vid we unboxed the astonishingly adorable Amanda Conner variant of our favourite fiery alien Princess- Starfire, well this episode we shall be delving into the world of one of her legendary co-creators, glorious George Perez, with a sterling statue based upon his astounding artwork from a classic comic cover of the consummate 80’s title – The New Teen Titans. And so, without further ado, let the unboxing commence…
Thanks for watching fellow fans of fantastic fiction, our next unboxing vid will star the one, and only – Donna Troy, also known as Wonder Girl! so stay tuned for in one short month Donna will be Golden Lassoing her way into the Precinct’s vicarious video vaults in readiness for her placement on the fabled Superlative Shelf of Superhero Statues!
Welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313 to another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aim to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!
Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and, of course, Super-Pets to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the Universe, and cake (’cause everyone loves cake)
And so, let us welcome to Precinct1313’s sacred sanguine sofa of significantly satirical secrets: the Dame of Demise and Duchess of the Deceased – Death, of the Endless…
Precinct1313: Hi there Death, and thanks so much for joining us on this week’s Worlds Finest.
Death: Hi, thanks so much for having me, you can call me Didi, if you prefer.
Precinct1313: Didi? as in die die?
Death: Uh, that’s a little morbid don’t you think? no, as in Deedee.
Precinct1313: Got it, though I do find your morbidity comment rather amusing, I mean, you are the Grim Reaper after all…
Death: Ha ha, nope, that’s my predecessor, although we had to let him go… he was literally scaring people to death!
Precinct1313: Isn’t that kind of the point though, y’know, harvester of souls and all…
Death: Mmmmm, I tend to keep things a little lighter, I mean that whole skull and scythe thing is a little too on the nose, don’t you think?
Precinct1313: Umm, I guess… though technically you perform the same service, right?
Death: In a way, but I tend to gently lead people into the afterlife as opposed to, how did you put it… harvest their souls?
Precinct1313: So, I’m intrigued, how does this whole cycle of life thing work, I mean, how do you specifically know when someone’s about die?
Death: Mmmmm, it’s a little complicated, but I guess the best way to describe it is that I can see the tapestry of their lives unfolding before me as a cartographical certainty. Would you like me to reveal your fate? your ultimate denouement as an example of this?
Precinct1313: I’d really rather you didn’t, thanks…
Death: Ah okay, I understand, you’ll know soon enough anyway…
Precinct1313: Uhhh, what does that mean?
Death: Oh nothing, shall we move on, I do tend to lead a rather busy life y’know…
Precinct1313: Erm, okay… So, my first ever encounter with your character was through the Neil Gaiman masterpiece – Death: The High Cost Of Living, any thoughts on Mr Gaiman and his prodigious writing talent?
Death: Neil is fantastic, a true gent and an outstanding talent, it’s through him that I’ve been able to share my many wonderful adventures and memories.
Precinct1313: I see, and he has been relaying said adventures about yourself and extended family, The Endless, since 1989 I believe.
Death: That he has.
Precinct1313: Well Death, uh Didi, may I just say, once again, thanks so much for joining us on this weeks World’s Finest.
Death: It’s been a pleasure, it’s time for us to go anyway…
Death: Why yes, why else do you think I’m here?
Precinct1313: For the interview, of course…
Death: I’m afraid not… it’s time, just take my hand…
Precinct1313: But, but, I have an appointment at 3pm.
Death: Unfortunately, you’re not going to make it…
*Death, and all images are copyright: Vertigo/DC Comics*
“Oh hi there, it’s fantastic to see you, fellow Agents, welcome to Precinct1313’s celebrated Comic Crypts, so glad you could make it, I hope it wasn’t too much of a chore finding your way down here… I mean, the Precinct is an interminable enigma, so it can be rather difficult at times to negotiate it’s measureless depths, yet, here you are.”
And so, welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313 to our four year anniversary celebrations, that’s right, the malefic mansion of mystery first materialised unto this plane of existence in the space year of 2014, and thanks to all of our followers, readers and fellow bloggers we still find ourselves relaying the news and views of our beloved DC Comics, and beyond…
Very soon we shall wend our way through the Precinct’s incalculable corridors and chambers so we can celebrate in style in the infamous Halls of Quaffing. Before that though let’s pay a visit to The Scrying Chamber and stare deeply into the sanguine depths of its fabled black crystal ball so we can relive our favourite posts from the past 4 years. This will be the first of two posts with chapter III of “In Pursuit Of Precinct1313″ appearing later this week, and with it, maybe, just maybe, the answers to the mysterious portal from last year’s cliff hanger ending. Now, on with the show…
So, let us begin our journey with one of our most recent posts, which was also the auspicious debut of our first ever YouTube unboxing video… “V-Log1313: Amanda Conner – Starfire Statue Unboxing” which can be partaken in… Right Here
2017 was the year that we first debuted our “World’s Finest” interview series, where we deigned to interview some of comicdom’s most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, and Dimension Dwelling Demons. It has proved a rather large hit for the site, with the Harley Quinn episode scoring the largest amount of hits… that said the most difficult yet most fun to write was the ‘V’ episode – so why not settle down and vividly valuate V’s valorous vocal verve once more… RIGHT HERE
“Comic Cover Of The Week” has been another marvellous mainstay of the Precinct, though with so many commendable and cool covers released each and every week it can be hard to recommend just one, so we’ve included two of our most recent favourites – “Harley Quinn Anniversary Special” which you can peruse… RIGHT HERE and the monumentally mouthwatering – ” Mister Miracle #5″ which you can scrutinise… Right Here
Wonder Woman and Batman continue to be the core pillars that sustain the edifice that is the Precinct, between the two of them they hold the record for most posts published by this mysterious mansion, but which articles do we hold most dear? In Diana’s case it would have to be – “Classic Wonder Woman: 75 Years Of The Awesome Amazon” which is available to study… Right Here and as far as Gotham’s grim guardian is concerned then it’s definitely – “Batman v Superman: Grudge Match” which can be undertaken – Right Here
Phew! there is such a rather large amount of decidedly delicious DC documentation that we have dutifully delivered that we could honestly be here all day! So let’s finish this celebratory collection conjuration with some honourable mentions… “Great British Comic Book Characters – Zenith” which can be tackled – Right Here Yet another Harley Quinn classic… “Harley’s Little Black Book #6 which can be rediscovered – Right Here and last but most definitely not least, a post from waaaaay back in 2014 from the Precinct’s (very) occasional co-writer Rageypeep (aka – Pete) with this post from “Euro Gamer Expo 2014” which can be experienced – Right Here
And may we say once again a massive thank you to everyone that has supported Precinct1313 over the past four years, our appreciation for all our followers, readers and fellow bloggers is quite honestly, stratospheric.
Oh, and as ever… Make Mine DC!
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to another exciting episode of ‘The Week In Geek’ where we love to share our favourite – Comic Book, Video-Game and Cult Movie news for your perusal and pleasure. And so once more unto the geek dear agents, once more…
Alfred Finally Gets His Due…
Barry Allen: “So what exactly are your superpowers again?”
Bruce Wayne: “I’m rich!”
This is a rather accurate assessment of Bruce’s innate ability to fight crime on a scale approaching that of the more powerful variety of Superheroes, it’s Bruce’s fortune that enables his war on crime to continue ad infinitum, and also ably supplies him with the gadgets and instrumentation needed to take down foes who far outweigh him in the realms of strength and preternatural capabilities.
But which of these many devices is the biggest aid for Gotham’s dark and scary one? The famed Batmobile? his ninja-like Batarangs?, the seemingly bottomless utility belt… nah! it’s one man, someone who has always been there for the caped wonder, a guardian, father figure and caretaker of both Bruce’s body and mind – staunch (and often snarky) British butler and ex SAS operative, Alfred Pennyworth.
Many variants of the popular character have appeared throughout various media over the almost eight decades since Gotham’s grim guardian first appeared, from the original comic book source, through novels, television series and film. The character has been portrayed by some of the UK’s finest thespians including, of course, the recent depictions by Michael Caine, and current valet to the masked grimacing one – Jeremy Irons. We adore Alfred and have always wished for a lot more interaction on his behalf in the live action arena… and now that particular reverie is apparently coming true with EPIX announcing a 10 part series exploring Alfred’s intriguing past exploits. No news on potential actors for the role as of yet, though we do know it will not be utilising the television series Gotham’s Alfred, Sean Pertwee.
(Though, even if Alfred does indeed get even more popular than he is currently through this potentially awesome production, his excited fervour will always be tempered by the fact that he still has to wash Batman’s tights in the morning!!)
There’s No Gloom, Only Doom With This News…
Quirky, irreverent, much maligned, strange, aberrant outcast and generally disparaged… but enough about me, let’s talk about the Doom Patrol!
In 2019 DC Comics will be unleashing its brand new digital service – DC Universe, a first of its kind immersive digital experience designed exclusively for DC fans. Previously announced shows for this groundbreaking TV experience are live action versions of The Titans, the seminal Swamp Thing, plus new animated series that include Young Justice and Harley Quinn.
But the most recent announcement is probably the most fascinating, the unveiling of a live action series based upon classic quirky heroes – The Doom Patrol. Patrol is certainly one of the weirdest of all the Super-Teams existing in comics today, It debuted in 1963 through anthology comic – My Greatest Adventure, but it was during the 80’s and 90’s that the unconventional heroes really found their footing thanks to the sterling work of Scottish comic-book scribe – Grant Morrison.
‘The Doom Patrol series is a re-imagining of one of DC’s most beloved group of outcast Superheroes – Robotman, Elasti-Girl, and Crazy Jane, led by a modern day mad scientist Dr. Niles Calder. Doom Patrol members have each suffered terrible accidents that whilst it did bestow upon them their superhuman abilities, also left them scarred and disfigured. Traumatised and downtrodden, the team found it’s purpose through The Chief, who brought them together to investigate the weirdest of phenomena, and protect the planet from what they find.’
The Doom Patrol series will debut alongside the DC Universe digital service in 2019…
Why Not Join Us Again Next Time Friends For More Week In Geek.
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to our first ever V-Log, that’s right, the Precinct’s infamous sacred sanguine sofa shall bear witness to an unboxing of epic proportions (well… it’s definitely an unboxing, epic may just be a little too grandiose, but hey!)
But before you dive into the video itself, a couple of things should be noted…
1. My hands are in no way, shape, or form professional actors! In fact if they were to star in a movie it would more likely be some terrible B movie nonsense from a company like Full Moon or something! (Please note: we love B movies and especially love and own virtually all the movies released by Full Moon!)
2. Whilst preparing the camera for the unboxing, my colleague and I said: “Why don’t we go all bohemian and idiosyncratic, and do it all in one take!?” Mmmmmm, then again, it may just have been the fact that we had rather a large amount of untouched beer and a brand spanking new copy of Batman and Harley Quinn on Blu-Ray to indulge in after we finished the filming… Ok, Ok, it was the second reason!! (which is to say – the video was done in one take, so please forgive any inherent amateurism on my part. Though the camera work and audio by my colleague Pete is rather fabulous!)
Thanks for watching fellow agents, and if you’re not already, why not follow us on our official Facebook page for fun and profit – (Oh Ok, there’s no profit, but we do guarantee some fun!)
All of the stunning statues in this vid were purchased from my very favourite UK based comic book emporium – Final Frontier.
Starfire, Wonder Woman, and Killer Frost are copyright: DC Comics.
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aim to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!
Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and, of course, Super-Pets, to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe and cake (’cause everyone loves cake)
And so, let us welcome to Precinct1313’s sacredly sanguine sofa of shockingly significant sardonic secrets – the cool, captivating and calculatingly callous – Circe.
Precinct1313: Hi there Circe, and thanks so much for joining us on this weeks episode of World’s Finest.
Circe: Why have you summoned me thus mortal?
Precinct1313: Um, you, err, did get our e-mail right?
Circe: Your petty mortal conveyance of digital transference is rather beneath a deity of my magnitude, do you not think, worm…
Precinct1313: Sorry, did you say worm?
Circe: You are like a worm unto me…
Precinct1313: I, uh, OK then…
Circe: Ah, so the lowly worm speaks…
Precinct1313: Now look, I’m not appreciating this whole worm thing, I’ll have you know…
Circe: Are you threatening me!?, interesting, you show a backbone to some extent, which precludes your being an annelid, mmmmm, I shall then deign to answer your foolish mortal inquiries…
Precinct1313: Ermm, thanks… I think.
Circe: Thinking does not appear to be your strong point, hurry mortal, asketh me your questions.
Precinct1313: So, I believe you are known to be over 3000 years old, may I just say you look bloody fantastic considering… do you have any tips for staying youthful?
Circe: I am immortal, foolish human, I will not fade into dust as you shall one day.
Precinct1313: Thanks for that… now then, you are the daughter of the Titans, Hyperion and Perseis, was it through your parentage that you gained your almost unlimited magical prowess?
Circe: Somewhat, though most of my abilities were granted through my devotion to the Goddess Hecate, I have followed her teachings for many a millennia.
Precinct1313: You are also the former Princess of the legendary isle of Colchis, the famed land of Medea and the fabled Golden Fleece, but you have lived much of your life in Aeaea, was there a singular reason for your move from your original monarchical homeland?
Circe: I fell in love mortal, his name was Odysseus, and with him I bore three godlike siblings, three sons we ceremoniously named, Agrius, Latinus and Telegonus.
Precinct1313: Intriguing, now aside from your infamy as the most powerful of all the Greek Witch-Gods you are primarily known as one of the foremost antagonists to another famous Greek Princess… Diana of Themyscira also known as Wonder Woman…
Circe: You dare to utter that name in my presence mortal, that insufferable Amazon traitor means nothing to me, and neither do you…
Precinct1313: I, ummm, am eternally sorry oh great sorceress, do please forgive my faux pas…
Circe: And now you appear to be mocking me…
Precinct1313: Not at all, I was very much sincere in my apology… errr, you appear to be levitating and looking at me rather malevolently…
Circe: You shall suffer for your impudence mortal by becoming that of which I regard you… “Tout, tout, thrown about, your shallow life in dismay, rentum, osculum, tormentum you shall crawl on your belly like a worm from this day…”
Precinct1313: Is that some kind of spell… hey, wait a minute where are my arms and legs!? have you just turned me into a…
Circe: Yes mortal, a worm, now I shall leave you to your fate, farewell worm…
Precinct1313: Hey, you can’t just… Circe! come back… *mmmm, that looks like a nice soft patch of dirt I could burrow into* Wait, what… no, noooooo, come back Circe, come baaaaack!!
Welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313 to another episode of The Week In Geek where we love to share our favourite – Comic Book, Video-Game, and Cult Movie news for your perusal and pleasure. And so once more unto the geek dear Agents, once more…
And an extra special welcome to our Women’s History Month Extravaganza! Our bombastic blogging buddy Cupcakes and Machetes has arranged her first ever blog event to celebrate the importance of women around the globe, so for the rest of March the Precinct will become a haven for fantastic fictional females, as we salute our very fave female Superheroes (and, of course, SuperVillains!)
Women’s History month commemorates the considerable contributions that women have made throughout human history, and I highly recommend visting Cupcakes and Machetes’ post for more information on the other astonishing bloggers involved in this particularly important event.
Cheetah Will Absolutely Be The New Antagonist In Wonder Woman 2…
There is much rejoicing within the Precinct today as we celebrate the news that our all time favourite SuperVillain, the feisty felonious furry feline Cheetah looks set to be next in line to antagonise the Wondrous one on the Silver screen!
Now then, we absolutely loved Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins’ astonishing take on the Themysciran Titan in last years astounding Wonder Woman movie, but if we were complain about something, it would be that her greatest and most popular nemesis – Cheetah was nary given a mention, I was, in fact, holding my breath for a post credit sequence involving the feline felon, unfortunately to no effect (well, apart from serious oxygen deprivation of course!)
Barbara Ann Minerva aka The Cheetah is a British archaeologist with the reputation for going to any length to secure ancient artefacts. Her life was irrevocably changed after an expedition to the atavistic lost city of Urzkartaga, where she endured a ritual by the local tribes to turn her into an immortal Cheetah deity. But, with great power comes… the ferocious appetite for human flesh (as we discovered when we interviewed her in the Precinct last November!) and a burning hatred for her former friend, Wonder Woman.
And, in breaking news, released as we were writing this post, it looks like actress Kristen Wiig (The Martian, Bridesmaids) is currently in talks with Patty Jenkins to play Cheetah in the movie!
We are so ridiculously excited to see Barb on the big screen in the highly anticipated Wonder Woman 2… seriously, 2019 cannot come soon enough!!
Lara Croft’s Newest Cinematic Escapades Are Almost Upon Us… So Let’s Celebrate With Some Brand New Images And A Trailer…
And yet another famous female British Archaeologist, Lara Croft will be returning to the silver screen (this very month in fact!) after almost fifteen years since her last cinematic Tomb Raiding endeavour (brought to us courtesy of the awesome Angelina Jolie.)
Unlike her comic book counterpart and fellow ancient artefact acquisitor, Cheetah, Lara is definitely more hero than villain (though the raiding of tombs is, perhaps, a little questionable) Lara’s return to the big screen is long overdue. The role of quintessentially English video-game icon has been inherited by Swedish actress Alicia Vikander, and she is looking every inch the relic hunting, globetrotting bad-arse superheroine!
We have been massive fans of Lara ever since we got our hands on her original video-game outing way back in 1996 on our much beloved Sega Saturn. The original classic was brought to the Lara loving masses by British software house – Eidos, and developed by the much missed Core Design. The game revolved around the exploits of super archaeologist and adventurer Ms Croft, and tasked the player with guiding the titular heroine through a plethora of tombs and ancient ruins in search of long lost artefacts and mythical relics, whilst avoiding death traps, wild animals, leaping perilously from crumbling ledges, and exploring mysterious, antediluvian temples secreted in the most extreme corners of the planet.
The new film is based upon the recent 2013 Video-Game reboot, and is looking really rather wonderful indeed… welcome back Lara. Indulge your eyes with the recent screenshots below, and be prepared to follow Lara on her treacherous journey into the unknown on March 16.