World’s Finest: An Exclusive Interview With Harley Quinn
Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to yet another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aims to introduce to you some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!
Each episode we cordially invite one of out most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and of course … Super Pets (Bernie, Harley’s pet beaver was originally invited onto the show also, but I just could not stop giggling every time Harley talked about how much she loved to show people her Beaver… and almost had a laughter induced heart attack when she offered to let me stroke her Beaver, so I rescinded Bernie’s invitation… sorry little dude!)
Every episode our very special guests will be answering a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe and cake (’cause everyone loves cake.)
And so, let us welcome to Precinct1313’s sanguinely sacred sofa of schlockingly sordid satire, the hellaciously hazardous hellcat of hijinks – Harley Quinn!
Precinct1313: Uh, Hi there Harley and welcome to, erm, uh… this week’s episode of World’s Finest…
Harley Quinn: Thanks so much, I’m pleased to meetcha, uh, are you OK?
Precinct1313: What’s that, oh.. er yes I’m fine, uuum, you did come alone right?
Harley Quinn: Why of course, I left Bernie back at home as you asked.
Precinct1313: I wasn’t actually thinking about Bernie, but, you know, that other person you’re famed for knowing.
Harley Quinn: Oh you mean the Joker, my ex-puddin’, nah, I don’t tend to see much of him these days.
Precinct1313: Phew!… I mean, erm, it’s not that he’s not welcome or anything. If you’re viewing this Mr Joker… Sir, you are of course always, um, welcome here in the Precinct, though I’ve just been informed by my producers that the Precinct will be closed undergoing repairs for a couple of, centuries… so, um, sometime after that is fine… *Oh god, please don’t kill me Joker*
Harley Quinn: Jeepers, calm down would ya, hey are you cryin’!?
Precinct1313: Absolutely not… sniff!
Precinct1313: So, Harley, let me begin by congratulating you on your 25th anniversary since creation.
Harley Quinn: Gee, thanks so much, it’s hard to believe it’s been that long since I first hooked up with Mr J, innit!?
Precinct1313: Yes it is, and you’ve gone from strength to strength since then, in fact you have become one of the most beloved characters in comics, ever. To what do you attribute your meteoric rise?
Harley Quinn: I always find that threatening people with sharp implements or a giant mallet usually makes them see things my way.
Precinct1313: Uuuuh, that’s not exactly the answer I was expecting, but OK.
Precinct1313: Allow me to mention how much I enjoyed your role in the recent Suicide Squad movie, how did it feel stepping out of the comic book pages and onto the big screen?
Harley Quinn: Ooh it was great, I can’t believe how spacious it is in the real world, those comic book panels are so cramped, I mean I almost felt like a different person altogether!
Precinct1313: Well technically you were…
Harley Quinn: Watcha talkin’ about ya mook?
Precinct1313: Well, um, Margot Robbie portrayed you in the movie itself… right?
Harley Quinn: Never heard of the broad, there is only one Harley Quinn, and that’s l’il ol’ me… you are spoutin’ some real crazy talk, and they call me insane… where’s my giant mallet!?
Precinct1313: Gulp! uh, I was just kidding of course, no need for senseless violence…
Harley Quinn: But that’s sort of my shtick… the whole senseless violence thing.
Precinct1313: Which, let’s be honest, is an unusual trait for someone who once was a psychiatrist. Which brings me to, what was it that attracted you to a green haired psychopathic mass murderer in the first place?
Harley Quinn: I found the Joker’s psyche disturbing, his dementia alarming, and his charm irresistible, what can I tell ya? the guy just did it for me!
Precinct1313: And the Batman?
Harley Quinn: Whatta ’bout him?
Precinct1313: Any thoughts?
Harley Quinn: I’d just like to say, if there were no Batman, there’d be no Joker and I woulda never met my puddin’, so thank you Batman! That said, if he shows his pointy ears around me again, I’ll wipe that grimacing scowl off his face with my beloved mallet!
Precinct1313: Yikes! and on that note, I would just like to say thank you for joining us on World’s Finest… oh and for not brutally bludgeoning me to within an inch of my life!
Harley Quinn: Actually, I’m still undecided on that!
Posted on August 14, 2017, in Comics, Comics in film and tagged Batman, Bernie the Beaver, DC Comics, Harleen Quinzel, Harley Quinn, Mr J, The Joker, World's Finest. Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.