World’s Finest: An Exclusive Interview With Judge Death
Welcome fellow Agents of Precinct1313 to another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aim to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!
Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons and, of course, Super-Pets, to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe and cake (’cause everyone loves cake!)
And so, let us welcome to Precinct1313’s stately sanguine sofa of shockingly satirical secrets – the Emperor of Expiration, the Duke of Demise, the decidedly discorporeal, and defiantly deceased – Judge Death!
Precinct1313: W… w… welcome, uh, J… Judge Death, to this week’s World’s Finest…
Judge Death: Hsssssssssssss…
Precinct1313: It’s, erm, lovely to have you join us this evening?
Judge Death: You! you have the foul ssssstench of the Living!
Precinct1313: I, uh, am what you might currently call alive, yes.
Judge Death: Life isssssss crime, the sssssssentence is…
Precinct1313: …Death! yes, yes I know, I’ve been a big fan of yours since you first fought your nemesis, Judge Dredd way back in issue #149 of 2000AD…
Judge Death: You would do well to not interrupt me again, you missssserable mortal malignancy!
Precinct1313: I, uh, i..it won’t happen again, Mr Death, uh, sir…
Judge Death: Your feeble attempt at appeasement meansssss nothing foul fleshling, life isssss an aberration and I am itssssss cure
Precinct1313: Erm, if you don’t mind me interjecting for just a second, but if my history is correct haven’t you already “cured” your own dimension of it’s populace?
Judge Death: Yessssss, Deadworld now livessss up to itssssss appurtenant moniker.
Precinct1313: Of course, your personal reasoning for the slaughter of billions of lives was that because all crime is committed by the living, that life itself must be a crime?
Judge Death: Yessssss, with the help of the witch sisterssssss, Phobia and Nausea, and my fellow Dark Judgesssss I was able to finally bring those tortured and corrupt living soulsssss into the cold embrace of expiration…
Precinct1313: Ah yes, your infamous entourage of euthanasia, the other Dark Judges Fear, Fire and Mortis! together you make a most formidable and fatal foursome, I mean few have stood a chance against your potency for perishing.
Judge Death: Your alliteration is nonsenssssse and childisssh, and you will cease and desist immediately… or you will literally cease to exisssssst!
Precinct1313: Ceased… forthwith!
Judge Death: Good, my brethren Judges are almossssst here, and your wit and badinage will not be welcomed by them, in the ssssslightest!
Precinct1313: I’m sorry, did you just say that the other Dark Judges are, um, on their way here… right now!?
Judge Death: Yesssssssss, they want to meet you!
Precinct1313: They, uh, do? for like, my autograph, or something… right?
Judge Death: No, to judge you, though I fear I already know the outcome…
Precinct1313: Fear? oh no, come on…
Judge Fear: GAZE INTO THE FACE OF FEAR!!
Precinct1313: Oh thank grudd… Dredd! you saved me from a fate worse than… oh hang on, from actual death…
Judge Dredd: I wouldn’t rejoice just yet citizen, you are charged with conspiring with the Dark Judges, how do you plead?
Precinct1313: Conspiring, erm, all I did was invite Judge Death over for an interview, it’s sort of what I do…
Judge Dredd: And unleashed him upon your dimension, where now millions of lives will expire, you are found guilty of collusion, the sentence is death!
Precinct1313: Ah, dammit!
Judge Death, Fire, Mortis, Fear and Dredd are Copyright: 2000AD and Rebellion.
Posted on November 23, 2019, in Comics, Comics in film and tagged 2000 AD, Judge Death, Judge Dredd, Judge Fear, Judge Fire, Judge Mortis, Rebellion, World's Finest. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.