World’s Finest: An Exclusive Interview With Cheetah

Welcome fellow agents of Precinct1313 to yet another exhilarating episode of “World’s Finest” a series of exclusive interviews that aims to introduce you to some of our very favourite convocation of comic-book characters of… all… time!

Each episode we cordially invite one of our most treasured – Superheroes, SuperVillains, Costumed Crimefighters, Dimension Dwelling Demons, and of course Super-Pets, to answer a quotient of quintessentially quirky questions about life, the universe, and cake (’cause everyone loves cake)

And so, let us welcome to Precinct1313’s sardonic sofa of satirically sanguine secrets, the calculatedly capricious cat of callously combative charisma – Cheetah.

Precinct1313: Hi there Cheetah, and thank you so much for joining us on this weeks World’s Finest… erm, you, uh, appear to be sniffing me, it’s rather disconcerting, I must say

Cheetah: Yesssss, I always love to sniff out my prey…

Precinct1313: I see, well… hang on, did you just say prey!?

Cheetah: You do know who I am right?

Precinct1313: Why of course, you’re Barbara Minerva – The Cheetah, I’m a huge fan… in fact you’re probably my favourite SuperVillain of all time!

Cheetah: SuperVillain!? oh how sweet, you’re kind of cute… you know, for potential food!

Precinct1313: I’m sorry… you want to eat me?

Cheetah: Once again, and I’ll say it slower this time, You… Do… Know… Who… I… Am… Right!?

Precinct1313: I, erm, uh, am feeling rather perturbed right now, but… being the consummate professional I am, will continue (whilst maybe whimpering a tad, do forgive me)

Cheetah: Heh…

Precinct1313: You are primarily known as Wonder Woman’s arch-nemesis, but I believe before you became The Cheetah you were fast friends with the Themysciran Princess, so what exactly happened to change that?

Cheetah: I turned into a ferocious feline with a taste for man flesh, I find things like that can sour a friendship, especially one with a goody two shoes like Diana.

Precinct1313: I guess that makes sense, you also have the distinction of being the second most popular feline based character in comics, after sultry Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman, any thoughts?

Cheetah: Hsssssss… Catwoman!? well firstly I’m THE most popular feline based villain, that so called cat lady is just a girl playing dress up, and I’ve also kicked her ass on several occasions… as I’m going to yours, if you mention her again!

Precinct1313: Moving swiftly on…

Precinct1313: Now, you were created by two of comicdom’s most legendary creators, George Perez and Len Wein, a great honour I’m sure…

Cheetah: Why are you asking me these questions? and I have never heard of either of those people, I was created by the ancient God Urzkartaga.

Precinct1313: Well you see Cheetah, Precinct1313 exists between dimensions which is what allows us the unique ability to interview fictional beings such as yourself for this show.

Cheetah: Fictional? sorry did you say show? I thought I was invited over here for dinner.

Precinct1313: Uuuuh, there’s no food I’m afraid.

Cheetah: Oh, I beg to differ…

Precinct: I, uh, really don’t like that glint in your eye… and on that note, thank you so much for joining us on this weeks World’s Finest, any final words?

Cheetah: Could you pass the salt!

Precinct1313: Eeep!!

Cheetah, and all images are copyright: DC Comics.